TRANS*ition Methodology
At 3 am, I know who I am.
Here in my element, early in the morning, when I know exactly who I am and what I want and where the journey of E’ is meandering even if I don’t know the destination, I find peace and clarity for a few hours of every day. I may feel lost and conufsed and struggleto get things done in the 3D world a lot of the time, but the thing that has been consistent for the past 7 years has been my practice. It’s my foundation. And everything is clear then, I just forget when the sun rises sometimes.
Just like the journey of life, we remember in little glimpses, and then the thinking mind and consensus systems we’ve constructed infiltrate us, and we go to sleep again.
But it’s okay. The point isn’t never forgetting, it’s coming back again and again, every time we get bumped or forget.
Keep coming back.
And this is why I’m in this program, because my practice is THE practice, it’s praxis, it’s not only my inner guidance and solace and rock, it’s my offering, my prenda, fashioned in the cauldron of my vessel, my being, my body, my alchemical container. I gather all the information and sensation and experience and translate it through lenses others can benefit from, and now the next step is to learn how to share it for mutual benefit.
I am not sure if or when I need to pause the program; I probably will for DMTx and CMM training, if I do that. But I do know in the clarity of the morning that I need to get this training I’ve been talking about for almost two years now, the facilitator and integration training so I can help others in my great big family find the healing I have and experience the relief that has come to me.
If they can touch for even a moment the way I feel in the morning, my offering will be worth it.
If they can feel the way their heart breaks open in the best possible way and they die to be reborn as everything the way I have in even a metaphorical way, it will all be worth it.
Amanita and cacao is the medicine, this is the portal to awakening and it’s all technically legal. Sitting this morning with them together, feeling Amanita’s mycelial tendrils interweaving with my capillaries, fusing with my DNA and healing the helix all the way backwards and forwards through generations and into the future, as cacaosita’s warm embrace opens my veins, vasodilating, increasing the flow of blood through my system and opening my spiritual heart to myself and the past parts and the whole universe, I feel myself suspended like a scarecrow on the cactus that looks a lot like a cross, making me a world tree; the axis mundi. Breaking open my chest cavity and parting my entrails so the crows can feast on the tendrils, not in a gross or morbid way, but a beautiful one, where I become compost, the thing the whole system revolves around in permaculture, all of us dying and being reborn, fueling each other, alone together. Food, medicine, shit, death, sex, it’s all love.
I am overcome.
I made a list of all the times I felt that feeling and followed it, even if I didn’t know why, and I got exactly what I needed, even if it hurt along the way, and it took up a whole page, and I easily could’ve kept going. This should be part of the methodology because it was so healing and empowering. I CAN trust myself. I DO know what I’m doing, even if the why doesn’t reveal itself sometimes for years.
So I realized that what I’m creating isn’t so much a self-healing methodology as it is
a TRANS*ition methodology.
For helping people make the big transitions, from one realm to the next—whether it’s a transition in gender embodiment or expression or sexual orientation, starting on the spiritual path, making art, leaving a marriage or relationship or religion, going nomad or quitting your job or any kind of big decision, including death and catastrophic injury or illness. I have experience with all of this and I have the tools and resources to help people, I am constantly amassing a growing network of trusted professionals and healers who use the methods of direct experience to help us reconnect with ourselves, each other, and the Universe, through every facet of the world.
And I am going to get the training I need to fully step into my own offerings and create this methodology for transitioning and devising artistic expressions, because the release is a really important part of it.
I will get facilitator training and go through the DMTx program at the Center for Medicinal Mindfulness, unless something else in the Netherlands presents itself, which I got an intuitive hit yesterday might come along, so I am opening to all possibilities. In some way, I will get that foundation, and then take the Compassionate Inquiry training I’ve been wanting to do for two years, which is co-led by a kundalini practitioner, so it already intersects with that other pillar of my practice—and I don’t need to take kundalini teacher training for many reasons, including the Yogi Bhujan scandal. My teachers have already come forward, Yael Haar and Annabelle Stapleton-Crittendon, in the US and UK who will work with me 1:1 for energy exchange and reduced rates. And I have my personal medicine practice, and am working closely with Ash to deepen my relationship with Amanita muscaria, which I will also do with a guide soon by going on my first full-fledged journey with her. And either in Arizona among the Saguaro that appeared in my dream the other night, waving their alien arms, or here in our ancestral homelands in the UK and Europe, we will pursue our parallel and intersecting paths with her.
Alone together.
And I will deepen my work with cacao and the calendar by going to Guatemala, but it’s seeming like the time for that is not now. There is too much to do here. Breaking Convention is in May and me and my ragtag crew of herbalists and astrologers and folk healers are coming together to make our events and presentations, to put on the medicine and education show. We are going to try and present a series of talks with the Psychedelic Society as well, and I’m now envisioning bringing Rick Levine in for some of these.
I am seeing beyond articles, I need to get out of that mindset. I like blogging again, that has been really needed. But I don’t want to write professionally anymore, unless it’s theatre.
It’s time to make stuff, to do things in the world, to bring people together; to dust off my cheese-business chops and bring the community together like I have excelled at ever since I was a little kid putting on plays in the living room and making everything a celebration. The host(x) with the most(x), that’s who I am. The connector. The one who makes the mycelial connections and brings them together so THEY can make the magic happen.
I’m excited. Here in the morning as the TRANS*ition to daytime is creeping in, I feel so clear, so grounded, so myself, so calm and grounded.
THIS IS ME. Remember this feeling.
It’s happening for you, not to you, and anyway, you’re co-creating it.
You’re a motherfucking shamxn, which means “the one who knows,” and don’t you forget it.
But you will, and that’s okay. Just keep coming back. Remember this feeling, and you’ll never be lost again.
Exhibitions, Events, and Performances:
The Hollow Bone Show: My first-ever one-person show! To be performed to a private audience as a work-in-progress for development into a future public exhibition. The Cockpit Theatre of Disruptive Ideas and Creative Panache, Marylebone, London, 4 Dec 13:00
Creating abstracts for presentation submissions to Breaking Convention 2025 and an event series for the London Psychedelic Society with herbalists, mycologists, and community healers Ash Ritter, Rebecca Lazarou, and Rasheeqa Ahmad for a presentation about self-healing with natural medicine/herbalism and Amanita muscaria, using my pelvis injury as a case study
Publications:
Music is the Medicine, Part II: My Substack newsletter; second installment of a multipart series years of research, interviews, and direct experience in the making on the intersection of sound and altered states. Want to create a podcast but need collaborators…
Building and Service:
1-2x weekly volunteering for Ecstatic Dance UK
Building ecstatic dance networks to help Bill Tribble build international directory of ED facilitators, teachers, DJs, spaceholders
Building a list and making initial outreach to ED and queer/trans DJ and facilitator networks and list, along with my friend Lxo Cohen, to start our own queer/trans ecstatic dance in London
Networking, list-building, and conversation-starting for long-term vision of queer/trans urban art/ecofarm and live/work/permaculture/makers space
Discussing potential future energy exchanges, journeying, and facilitator training with DMTx and the Center for Medicinal Mindfulness in Colorado
Courses and workshops:
November intensive day 2, grantwriting workshop. Ece gave really helpful tips for how to write a project description and proposal/grant application that left me feeling vastly more prepared and confident, albeit no less daunted (maybe even more so) about how to actually find the right ones to apply to, and that even allow PhD students. I desperately want to get one of these artists’ residencies but am totally overwhelmed with how to find and filter through them. Her tips for AI were really amazing in terms of completing applications, but I wonder if it could also be recruited for searching. I am going to reach out to her to see if we can chat further. (Plus, I just really loved her vibe and energy, like the living embodiment of Berlin itself, brash and unapologetically her artistic, eccentric, multicultural self.)
Rupert Sheldrake’s Morphic Resonance Course: Did my thing and got a bursary rate and got enrolled. Have not begun yet, because first priority needs to be another course I was gifted that is of immediate importance for personal, spiritual, and professional journeying…
Acacea Lewis’ Divine Master Alchemy Academy: Advanced Journeyers, Transdimensional Crystal Camp. This is the beginning of a very important new phase of the journey, one I was directed by the spirit of Baba Kilindi Iyi to reach out to Acacea about when I was meditating with the group inside the Great Pyramid in Egypt. I have goosebumps all over my body as I write this and am humbled that she granted me the offering on a donation basis. I must honor the teachings well.
Reading (actively):
Alejandro Jodorowsky, “Psychomagic” and “The Way of the Tarot: The Spiritual Teacher in the Cards”
Gabor Maté, “Scattered Minds”
A million research papers
LISTEN:
As part of the methodology, remember that you are working with the AI to better understand yourself and make your way through the minotaur’s labyrinth.
AI Summary:
The conversation centers on the concept of transitioning between different life stages, realms, and identities, emphasizing the importance of illumination and integration rather than denial. Speaker 1 discusses the use of Amanita and Cacaosita for spiritual journeys, describing profound personal experiences with these substances. The dialogue touches on the historical and cultural context of shamanism, the erasure of marginalized groups, and the need for initiation and training in traditional practices. It also explores the impact of trauma, the intergenerational nature of suffering, and the importance of reconnecting with one's true self and the natural world for healing and transformation.
Transition Methodology and Personal Journey
Speaker 1 discusses the concept of transition, emphasizing it as a process of moving between different states
The speaker introduces the combination of Amanita and Coco Sita as a unique and powerful medicine
The speaker reflects on the pain and struggle associated with the transition process
The speaker expresses a desire to help others have similar transformative experiences
Exploring Art and Future Plans
The conversation shifts to the importance of making art with Anne Sophie
The speaker contemplates the timing of returning to the UK and the significance of festival season
The speaker emphasizes the need to follow where the plants guide them
Cultural and Historical Context
Speaker 1 delves into the historical context of traditional medicine and the importance of reciprocity
The speaker highlights the erasure of marginalized groups from historical records
The conversation touches on the impact of consumer culture on human rhythms
Childhood Trauma and Self-Sabotage
Speaker 1 shares personal experiences of childhood trauma and the development of self-sabotaging patterns
The speaker describes the process of repressing memories and the impact of gaslighting
Spiritual Awakening and Transition
Speaker 1 recounts their childhood experiences of dressing up as Jesus
The speaker describes the repression of their true self and the impact of societal and religious expectations
The Role of the Shaman and Cultural Initiation
Speaker 1 discusses the concept of the shaman and the importance of initiation
The speaker acknowledges the lack of traditional initiation rituals in modern culture
Healing and Transformation
Speaker 1 shares personal experiences of trauma and the transformative power of plant medicine
The speaker describes the process of being broken open and the importance of recognizing the signs
The Power of Community and Collective Healing
Speaker 1 discusses the importance of community and working together to heal and transform
The speaker emphasizes the need to turn the lights on and remember the interconnectedness of all beings
The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing
Speaker 1 reflects on their journey of self-discovery and the importance of recognizing the signs
The speaker shares personal experiences of trauma and the transformative power of plant medicine
The Role of the Shaman in Modern Society
Speaker 1 discusses the role of the shaman in modern society and the importance of recognizing the signs
The speaker acknowledges the need to seek personal initiation and work with subtle energies
Relevant excerpt about the methology and PhD path: It's not a self healing, it's a transition methodology. It's for making the transitions from one world to the next, whether it's life and death, Gender Spectrum, exploration, sexual orientation, leaving your religion and we're beginning the journey of consciousness exploration. I'm here to help you switch around, play around, not switch from one to the next, but rise above the concept of all of it transcending and including though not leaving it behind, not denying anything, shining lights on all parts of it, and bringing illumination to everything, that's the only way we transition, effectively, safely, truly, is If everyone comes along and if everything is illuminated, this is the combination. This is the combination Amanita and Coco Sita. This is the medicine concoction, the combination of the two of them. I need to talk to ash about this. It's like the most unique, beautiful feeling I've ever felt in my whole life. I feel that mycelial tendrils of emanates, of wrapping themselves through my capillaries, entwining themselves with my capillaries, interweaving with my DNA, cacasita opens my heart, the vasodilator, slowing the blood flow, opening me to myself, opening me to the world, opening me to The realms. I can see them right now I see the alchemical diagram the world cut open like my chest cavity, exposed to the elements as I am crucified on the cactus, willingly, happily with a smile, letting the crows eat my entrails, because it's all part of the cycle, not because it's gruesome or morbid, but because it's beautiful, because one thing dying fuels the next.
But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It hurts like shit, and it's hard as hell, we'll cry and scream, drag our feet the whole way down, but once we get there and we're broken open and we're truly humbled and surrender, we see that it was all worth it, all the pain, all the suffering and the beauty on the other side is overwhelming, and the peace is beyond all comparison, and the love is everlasting. I've had these moments with the plants and the medicine where they really feel their calling, and then I doubt myself, and I think I'm not good enough yet, and I think I'm not pure enough yet, until I sit and get quiet with the music and the medicine, I can help people have these experiences. I don't want to just talk about it anymore. I want to show them. So I have to follow this calling. And it feels scary, but maybe there's a reason that rich isn't supporting me. We have to build it ourselves. And as Lxo was saying, I think there's something to this. I think there's maybe the maybe the next season is the time where we kind of hunker down on ourselves, and we gather the things that we need to to build our own offerings that we then bring back to build the village together.
I gotta make art with Anne Sophie. I don't want to miss that opportunity. So maybe Guatemala is not right now, I don't know. I don't know what it is, but I don't believe I'm opening myself to all positive possibilities. And I'll talk to Daniel about it too. Maybe I go back in the summer. I don't know. Festival season also feels like an important time to be around. But I don't know. I like winter in the UK too. But I have to. Follow where the plants take me. When I surrender to that, when I open to that, where would you have me go? What would you have me do? How may it be of service? Christine taught me a lot, and I want to teach other people too, and my own healing will never be done, but I do think I'm starting to reach a point of maturity now where I can offer unto others. I want to be of service. I want to share. I've still got some hoarding tendencies, but I want to be more generous, and I'm going to keep seeing the kids.
These are the medicines: Amanita wrapping, entangling her tendrils with my capillaries. Cacaosita, opening them to receive The blood flowing through my body, relaxing me, enhancing me, opening to all the subtle realms and the cosmology the whole family, earth, heaven, mineral, vegetable, the water that I can only feel in this material plane. There is no separation.
It's a transition methodology. Healing is part of that naturally, but sometimes it's about not healing, and sometimes it's about dying, and sometimes it's about letting go, and sometimes it's about cutting off relationships that need to go.
I'm here to help you transition. My name is Riordan o' Regan, and I will be your psycho pump for the evening, your shaman with an X. See, Shaman is a Siberian term that we've appropriated, like a lot of other things, but as one of my teachers says, It's not appropriating if you use it appropriately. That means giving credit to the people whose medicine This is. That means acknowledging the land and the people and all the medicines of the forest. That means showing up as our best selves. That means being part of an ecosystem, beings being nested within interwoven, entangled animals.
