Wow it’s a lot
There are huge cosmic activations, channelings, breakings-open, awakenings happening right now, initiated by Mama Cacao.
She isn’t just walking out of the forest, she’s running, dancing, singing, leading all of us across the world behind her like the Pied Piper to build the New Earth. I used to think that shit sounded culty and weird, and maybe it needs some better branding, but I am putting together a massive puzzle, finally, that I poured out the pieces to five years ago, as I first went nomad, in that year I hunkered down in an apartment in the in-between phase of ambiguous lockdowns and openings up and just opened up my crown chakra and first let shit start pouring in, first started playing with time and consciousness, and the world just… psssshhhhh pourrrrred it in.
The picture is finally coming together, after years of building a corner here, an edge there; grouping pieces that I knew ultimately went together, but I didn’t see how yet. I’m finally starting to get it.
A lot of it is thanks to Kit, but also to Jung. I needed an assist from the other realm; I had figured out that I needed to amplify and hear the voices that aren’t very loud. I figured out this meant plants, trees, fungi, and animals. I was starting to understand this collective consciousness thing. But I had been missing the dead. The archetypes and past ancestors. You can’t do it without them. In fact, they may be the very most missing piece — because they are truly the bridge between the realms, earthly and astral; material and im-. They are aether. That which only appears to be space, but is everything.
They are queer.
So as I intuited from the beginning, booze, psychedelics, funeral feasting are a big part of it. Morphic resonance is the key, and there’s a reason I end up working it into just about everything I write. Rupert Sheldrake is a fucking prophet, just like McKenna, no wonder they worked together. We gotta get him up in here too—shit, I haven’t even directly called on him since I connected with Kit. I will try that and report back.
Anyway, it all crystallized over the past few days with these incredible, psyche-expanding, earth-shattering, being imploding and exploding simultaneously, but oh-so-gentle deaths of these ceremonies where cacao has been brought in with other ancestral, shamanic and sound healing practices. I just… wow. I can’t even express it. And adding LSD yesterday was the missing piece—acid, the dissolver, that dissolved my ego lens and broke down my defenses and just allowed it all to pour in, removed my imposter syndrome and fear and gave me a big cosmic hug and showed me that I could trust my senses, my mind; I had been right all along, whether it was about the abuse to my body, what really happened to me as a little kid, the experiences with my mom and sister, or what I started discovering at the beginning of COVID—but I didn’t have the “credentials” to back me up then. I applied to a different PhD program, and got denied—even though I was saying the exact same things that not only their own students but respected thinkers on consciousness, quantum psychics, and plant medicines later went on podcasts talking about and wrote books and papers on.
Well, now I have some letters behind me of my own—and this program was SO CLEARLY where I was supposed to end up. The other one would have been the old paradigm, all over again with a different flavor. This is the one I was made for, the thing I’ve been training my whole life for, because it’s just putting a container around what I have already been doing ever since I was a little kid, making collages of the rainforest and pyramids I’d later do deep ancestral and personal healing work within; listening to music that moved me to altered states and blocked feelings; touching and then repressing my queer and trans essence; connecting with God the only way I knew how, in the dark, in the middle of the night when all was still.
I fucking knew it, I was doing it, when I was 10 years old.
The affirmation of getting these clear yeses from the universe, the way everything is coming together, the incredible opportunities I have been and continue to be given—fuck, I am going to get to go inside the Great Pyramid and experience healing and interdimensional journey work the way they may have been doing it back in the ancient days. I always knew I had another lifetime in Egypt, but I didn’t realize I’d get to literally revisit it in this dimension, and to do it with my fellow queers and weirdos and musicians is like, next-level, I can’t even.
The revelation is a spiral, like healing, journey work, art, research, living and dying and reincarnating is: you keep coming back around again, and again, and again; you feel like you’ve been here before, but this time something clicks and you peel back a new layer of the onion, see something that you didn’t below the skin, and unlock a new crystallization. The prior information is layered in with your current experience, understanding, and knowledge, and all of a sudden, a subtle shift sparks a huge epiphany, yet it’s one that has been filtering in slowly, gradually, as you fill yourself with all the things the mushroom, which is the great awareness, needs to deliver this particular message, by you at this time in this place.
There’s something unlocking around Egypt and the Feather of Ma’at. The concept scared me until maybe just now. I saw it from a Judeo-Christian framework, which is that you would be judged, which to me translated to, you would be found unworthy. But that’s not what I’m being shown. It’s about balancing, evening the scales, sharing the load; it’s an equation, a formula for healing, for how to restore your body, which is the Earth body, to equilibrium—and it happens in the pyramids, the great sounding chambers for healing, through music and vibration. which I will directly experience.
The magic formula for me for healing trauma and ADD is cacao, to bring you into the formless > hapé, to ground you back down to earth > all of it soundtracked by East Forest or a Celtic drumbeat to keep yu thethered. But whatever you do, there are so many ways to get there, it’s all a magic feather, just a tether, because you are the thread that ties it all together. the archetypal image connecting heaven and earth through the center, the core, that’s you, the axis mundi. you’re a world tree. that’s you on your individuation journey; humanity on the accelerating path of the evolution of the universe; the wisdom of the plants and animals and trees that have always been speaking.
we used to be trees.
okay, I am working this out in another post, let me attempt to articulate it more clearly…
AI Summary:
Fear of Abundance and Colonialist Legacy
- They describe waking up in a panic on a day of celebration, feeling terror that someone was taking away their abundance. - They reflect on the deeper issue of scarcity and fear of abundance, which they attribute to a colonialist consumer legacy. - They discuss how the fear of abundance is not their story but that of someone else, who always makes celebrations difficult. - They highlight the covert narcissism of codependence, where the person making others wait for their sickness becomes the center of attention.
Impact of Overindulgence on Self-Regulation
- They talk about how overindulgence can lead to a pattern of too much and not enough, affecting self-regulation. - They mention a case where a child receives too much attention, which disrupts their ability to self-regulate and develop healthy attachment. - They explain how their own core fear and wound of being too much for others stem from not getting proper attachment and self-regulation as a child. - They describe their compulsive buying of food and chocolate, which they are trying to heal through better self-care and understanding.
Historical and Epigenetic Patterns of Scarcity
- They connect their patterns of overindulgence and avoidance to their grandmother's legacy of scarcity and binge-purge cycles. - They discuss how their grandmother's inability to eat led to their own compulsive eating habits. - They mention the importance of cacao as a healing tool, providing true nutrition and spirituality. - They reflect on the need to learn better self-care and take care of their body, proud of themselves for listening to their body's needs.
Vacillation Between Community and Solitude
- They describe their tendency to vacillate between bursting into community and hermiting themselves away to consume information. - They connect this pattern to the historical legacy of witches, queers, and weirdos who had their knowledge taken away and had to hide it. - They discuss the legacy of forced motherhood and the desire to give birth to their own knowledge and traditions. - They reflect on the need to balance community involvement with solitary learning and healing.
Balancing Community and Solitude
- They talk about their tendency to start many things but not finish them, leading to anxiety and a feeling of being ungrounded. - They reflect on the need to use their time productively and finish what they start, even if it means not finishing everything. - They discuss the pull of volunteering and being part of communities versus the need to go to their homeland for healing. - They consider how to balance these needs and prepare for the upcoming eclipse season and back-to-school season with their PhD.
Action Items:
Finish reading a book about ADD to learn solutions, not just symptoms. (Assignee: Speaker)
Focus on finishing one thing at a time, prioritizing self-care while still helping others. (Assignee: Speaker)
Prepare for an upcoming "back to school" period with PhD studies and personal learning, while maintaining presence. (Assignee: Speaker)
