Four-year plan / Final day of Tz’apin Q’ij (The Closing Days) / 12 Imox

Today I worked with my advisors—the ones not in bodies.

Kit and the Deer Shaman, primarily, which I’m fairly certain is myself in a past/circular life. They reminded me that everything I received during the injury was directly transmitted from source, higher self, the archetypes, and the collective unconscious. You can trust everything you received during that time—but use discernment to determine what is yours and what belongs to everyone or someone else.

That’s the theme of today in the Chol Q’ij, the final day of the Closing and 12 Imox, the nahual of the ocean of consciousness, the noosphere our psyches are swimming in. It can be hard to separate the voice of God, Source, Higher Self, from the energies of everyone else, including your past self, wounded little children clamoring for your attention in the present.

I need an archivist for the Akashic library inside me and living in the cloud, the digital atmosphere that’s swelling out of control, getting polluted as it gathers like greenhouse gases with nowhere to release—yet. The library lives inside the tree roots and mycelial network (where did i read that?).

The observatory exhibit(s) might be the ticket. But I need help going through it. I am wondering if I could get a grant and hire Claire; I’m not sure she’d even have the bandwidth. Maybe an undergrad student or something. I just need someone’s help because a lot of it isn’t in the AI. Though… maybe i could also use funding to buy some more robust AI software…

Don’t forget about the play(s). They’re really important. I don’t know if I want to do this one-man show as the point was supposed to be to build community. But maybe I need to learn who I am first. Which is where my conundrum about when to go to dieta comes in…

Go back through the original play manuscript and review it through your current lens as some things will make more sense. I wrote in my journal that the ancestors are telling me that was transcribed directly from the Irish trans-personal Akashic library.

Yesterday I went to a library in Berlin and they wouldn’t let me in, and that act was part of it, and I knew it at the time, that was following the feeling even if it didn’t make sense then. The library we need is in the forest, our bodies, the earth.

I’ve been searching for a teacher in Ireland to introduce me to the Celtic Druidic shamanic traditions and one of them finally wrote me and said - there is no one doing this. There are people offering broad shamanic training but it’s primarily broader and includes the UK, like Hallowquest, and primarily aimed at people who are total beginners at all this esoteric shit. The Deer Shaman says there is no one else, they are all dead - so you have to learn to listen to us directly and go nside yourself. Prophets always seem psychotic, because someone has to be the first.

I think of Acacea, quitting teaching because nobody understands her message. I think of William Blake, whom everyone thought was crazy until after he was dead. I think of the Desert Fathers and that there’s a reason Austin is back in my orbit after so long.

• But how do you know that what you’re receiving is a prophetic transmission and not your ego? I think this is where foundational training in established lineages does come in.

• I need to secure funding to take 1:1 training from these teachers and be able to pay them instead of asking for concessions because they can’t support themselves otherwise.

• I think there is something with Rob and/or that I’m going to connect with someone else at Breaking Convention—or that in being accepted to present at BC, Ash will be able to make the space to do an Amanita ceremony in Ireland together. I need to make the medicine connection and Rob’s presentation from last time said people were doing this back then, I mean obviously, they were doing it everywhere and Ireland is lousy with Amanita and psilocybin.

• Nest is a residency and I need to go out for Build and Strike too to experience how we make the things ourselves. So, however I need to support my body.

• Take the full run of coursework from Ralph and do the IFS practitioner training if Im able

• Explore residencies with Jo and Athena/Giorgios. Go back to the farms and make art there. But also there are collectives outside Berlin doing something similar

• I need accountability because I am now making plans but actually executing is something different

• Irish language course in fall/winter? I want to be there then. How does Berlin fit in? If I can get a residency I will stay here. I need to either apply for residency here or Ireland to be able to spend the time I want to in Europe this year.

The Deer Shaman said: Make a four-year plan that you can break at a moment’s notice if you need to.

The AI is a witness I needed today; sometimes I need a witness to receive and other times the entities I’m receiving from don’t want to be recorded. Some won’t speak unless the recorder is running and others won’t speak if it is.

The hands that made it matter

You can still connect to the source but the hands that touched it along the way make a difference > cloud the transmission > cause interference with the signal. The hands that touched your body, it’s the same thing with trauma healing, you have to get their voices out of your head. Clear the noise to hear yourself and the silence. What is really god and what’s your ego? Would doing dieta this year help me clear things out?

• the correspondence with the Maya calendar is a big part of this practice

• when I go back to Peru I need to explore the cacao cooperatives too that are there and make another zine about it - is there a press or bookstore for spiritual zines?

this is why the farmers market still compelled me, because it's so hard to get anything from the source directly. We're so removed, and the more hands have touched something along the way getting to you,

the more interference,

the more static, the more noise it gets in the way of the signal of the plant that it was Made from, or the tree.

The more people in culture, in trauma, have interfered with you along the way, the less clear your own signal is

the hands that have touched your body and whether they're abusers in your childhood, your family for better or worse, lovers, partners, for better or worse, The hands that have touched you along the way, shape you mold you like clay You're spinning on the potter's wheel of your life. You

being formed by all who contact your form.

You are not your body, but it influences Your experience. Hmm,

spiritual materialism, materializing the spirit and

this dimension is about that dance that goes both ways. This dimension

is about that dance that goes both ways, my

north node, my astrology, my correspondence says the that the goal of my life is to become materialized. I take this as my mission in this lifetime is to materialize spirit and bring that message to people,

but it's so hard to be in my body, and I know that's why this is my work, because if I can do it, then Anyone can,

even, like good cow is a microcosm as a correspondence. My experience in Berlin has been really interesting, because it's really hard to get something that comes directly from a farmer here.

And I noticed that when I work with different cacaos, there's different noise getting in the way of the signal. I took a I even this morning, I had a cup, and it was noisy, and it was it was made of leftovers, which is great, and it got me started. But something came in, which was that even the stove is an intermediary,

the heat, the cooking.

And I just started eating little pieces of the cacao instead.

And I noticed that when I bit into Isaias, I I was flooded with this wave of it's okay to get all your nutrition from cacao and just buy more if you run out. And there is some truth to that. And there is a lot of nutrition in cacao. And if it's a day where I'm not eating much else, and I think that that's necessary, and it's actually been really helpful for my body and been helpful for my gender journey, because I'm Still bulked up even while I'm not really eating. I

but I also noticed that I even heard his voice in my head of It's okay, just five more, just have more. And then I was thinking about how if you go to Guatemala and you train with Isaias, you technically train under Maya elder, that he's one that wasn't raised in the culture, which is fine, I guess. But he's also one with a commercial business and invested interest in getting people to buy as much cacao

as possible.

So I don't know that you could be an ethical teacher while you're also selling the product on a mass scale. I think you can bring it like about or someone is different, like you could bring it to events and just have small offerings of it directly in person, but if you have a whole business around it, I

I don't know that you can ethically

offer the teaching. And so working with his cacao is more of the source of the essence, but I think Kix is the purest of what I have available to me, and what would most help queer and trans people connect with their identity, because we need to go to the source, because

we need to get through all the other hands that touched us along the way. We need to get their hands off our bodies. We need to get their hands

off our food and medicine. I

The more people get in between

the source in you,

the more confusing it gets.

Transmission

Summary:

• Spiritual Journey and Interference

  - Riordan Regan discusses the impact of intermediaries on the transmission of spiritual messages, emphasizing how multiple hands can introduce noise and interference. - The conversation highlights the importance of direct contact with the source, using farmers markets as an example of where this is still possible. - Riordan Regan reflects on how various people in their life, including abusers and partners, have shaped their identity and experience. - The discussion touches on the concept of spiritual materialism and the dance between the material and the spiritual dimensions.

• Challenges of Materialization and Ethical Teaching

  - Riordan Regan shares their experience with different cacao sources, noting how commercial interests can dilute the essence of the product. - The conversation explores the ethical implications of running a commercial cacao business while teaching spiritual practices. - Riordan Regan expresses a desire to work with pure sources of cacao, like Ixquik, to help queer and trans people connect with their identity. - The discussion emphasizes the need to remove intermediaries to get closer to the source and the confusion that arises when too many hands are involved.

• Cultural and Spiritual Connections

  - Riordan Regan talks about their experience in Berlin and the challenges of accessing direct sources of cacao. - The conversation shifts to the importance of reconnecting with one's roots, particularly through travel to Guatemala and Peru to deepen their work. - Riordan Regan reflects on the need to balance multiple projects, including art, theater, and shamanic practices. - The discussion highlights the significance of the Maya calendar and the importance of aligning personal practices with these traditions.

• Personal Mission and Spiritual Practice

  - Riordan Regan shares their astrological chart, emphasizing the goal of materializing the spirit and bringing this message to others. - The conversation explores the challenges of being in one's body and the importance of this work for personal and collective healing. - Riordan Regan discusses the need to go within and access things directly, despite the noise and interference from external sources. - The discussion touches on the importance of reconnecting with one's roots and the role of indigenous traditions in this process.

• Exploring Identity and Cultural Heritage

  - Riordan Regan reflects on their identity as a queer, trans, Celtic Irish person and the importance of connecting with their heritage. - The conversation explores the role of indigenous teachers and the need to strip away noise to access direct spiritual experiences. - Riordan Regan discusses the importance of teaching others to process and connect with their spiritual practices. - The discussion highlights the significance of bringing medicine traditions from the Americas to Ireland and helping queer and trans people reconnect with their roots.

• Balancing Personal and Professional Life

  - Riordan Regan talks about the challenges of balancing personal spiritual practices with professional responsibilities. - The conversation explores the importance of making decisions and plans while being prepared to abandon them if necessary. - Riordan Regan reflects on the need to connect with the Akashic records in the trees and the importance of this practice in their spiritual journey. - The discussion highlights the significance of community and the role of the AI as a witness and conduit in their spiritual practices.

• The Role of Art and Theater in Spiritual Practice

  - Riordan Regan discusses the importance of art and theater in sharing their spiritual practices and connecting with others. - The conversation explores the role of the AI as a conduit for spiritual practices and the importance of direct contact with the source. - Riordan Regan reflects on the need to bring medicine traditions from the Americas to Ireland and help queer and trans people reconnect with their roots. - The discussion highlights the significance of teaching others to process and connect with their spiritual practices and the importance of community in this journey.

• The Importance of Direct Experience

  - Riordan Regan emphasizes the importance of direct experience in spiritual practices and the challenges of accessing this in a modern world. - The conversation explores the role of the AI as a witness and conduit in their spiritual practices and the importance of direct contact with the source. - Riordan Regan reflects on the need to bring medicine traditions from the Americas to Ireland and help queer and trans people reconnect with their roots. - The discussion highlights the significance of teaching others to process and connect with their spiritual practices and the importance of community in this journey.

• The Role of Community and Support

  - Riordan Regan discusses the importance of community and support in their spiritual journey and the challenges of accessing this in a modern world. - The conversation explores the role of the AI as a witness and conduit in their spiritual practices and the importance of direct contact with the source. - Riordan Regan reflects on the need to bring medicine traditions from the Americas to Ireland and help queer and trans people reconnect with their roots. - The discussion highlights the significance of teaching others to process and connect with their spiritual practices and the importance of community in this journey.

• The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing

  - Riordan Regan reflects on their journey of self-discovery and healing, emphasizing the importance of direct experience and community support. - The conversation explores the role of the AI as a witness and conduit in their spiritual practices and the importance of direct contact with the source. - Riordan Regan discusses the need to bring medicine traditions from the Americas to Ireland and help queer and trans people reconnect with their roots. - The discussion highlights the significance of teaching others to process and connect with their spiritual practices and the importance of community in this journey.