Berlin Breakthrough / Getting ahead of the syncronicities
Full Moon in Leo / Being Matter[z]
Gist: Riordan Regan reflects on the purpose of his incarnation, contemplating whether it is to gather information for future generations rather than to complete projects himself. He discusses the concept of legacy, mentorship, and the importance of unfinished works. Regan emphasizes the need for queer and trans archives and the significance of documenting his experiences. He explores the idea of syncretism in traditions, advocating for respectful remixing and proper citation. Regan also touches on the personal significance of his North Node in Taurus, suggesting his purpose is to simply exist and share his learnings, finding relief in this perspective.
Action Items:
Create archives and documentation to be accessible to the trans and queer lineage.
Provide context and cite sources when incorporating elements from different traditions.
Explore the possibility of living with Chaz in Berlin.
Outline
Reflecting on the Purpose of Incarnation
Riordan Regan contemplates the idea that the point of his incarnation might be to collect information and experiences for the next generation rather than to finish anything himself.
He questions whether the purpose of his actions, such as attending a cabaret, is related to his legacy and the next generation rather than the immediate experience.
Riordan considers the possibility that the person he was meant to meet is someone he will connect with at the end of his incarnation or someone he is meant to mentor.
He reflects on the idea that he might be mentoring himself across different timelines and that the person he is meant to connect with could be a real child or a metaphorical representation of himself.
The Role of Unfinished Works and Mentorship
Riordan discusses the idea that he might never be meant to finish anything, as the next generation is meant to bring his work to fruition.
He suggests that his role might be to gather information and present it in a way that the next generation can understand and build upon.
Riordan talks about the importance of creating a forest observatory where people can draw their own conclusions from his curated exhibits.
He acknowledges that this idea could be an excuse for procrastination but also sees the value in documenting his process and leaving unfinished works.
The Importance of Documentation and Archives
Riordan emphasizes the need for queer and trans archives to preserve history that has been written by conquerors.
He discusses the significance of filling his observatory with records and creating accessible archives for those who understand his ways and customs.
Riordan reflects on the idea that he was led to certain people and places for a reason, and that his work is part of a larger tradition and lineage.
He talks about the importance of turning around the tradition of being gatekeepers and becoming the gatekeepers himself.
Operating from a Premise of Sharing and Learning
Riordan considers the idea that his purpose might be to collect information for the next generation to interpret and build upon.
He reflects on the relief and release that comes from operating under this premise, especially after a week of feeling backed up.
Riordan discusses the importance of creating something to share rather than to prove himself, and the value of helping others learn from his experiences.
He talks about the urgency of creating something to share rather than to create something great for himself.
The Role of Art and Creation in Teaching
Riordan reflects on the idea that art, creation, and teaching are all about taking experiences and translating them into a language others can understand.
He discusses the importance of sharing his observations and experiences to help others want to exist.
Riordan talks about the relief of wanting to be alive and the importance of creating something to share rather than to prove himself.
He emphasizes the need to avoid being a colonizer or over-exploiting his privilege and instead use it to help others find states of being that make it okay to exist.
The Value of Syncretism and Remixing Traditions
Riordan discusses the importance of syncretism and remixing traditions rather than adhering rigidly to traditional practices.
He reflects on the idea that the ancestors are not always right about everything and that learning and evolving traditions is part of the process.
Riordan talks about the importance of educating people about what is traditional and what is not, and the distinction between syncretism and appropriation.
He emphasizes the need for good academic practice and citing sources to avoid exploitation and maintain integrity.
The Role of Feeling and Intuition in Guiding Actions
Riordan reflects on the importance of feeling and intuition as guiding principles in his actions and decisions.
He discusses the idea that he was supposed to meet someone on the train to his queer cabaret, which might be his future self or the next generation.
Riordan talks about the need for presence and balance in his relationships, mentioning people like Johanna and Caz who could provide that presence.
He emphasizes the importance of believing in magic and synchronistic events, and the relief of just being and existing without the need to produce something great.
The Importance of Staying Alive and Sharing Experiences
Riordan reflects on the idea that his purpose might be to just be a curator and stay alive to share his experiences.
He discusses the importance of journaling and documenting his thoughts and observations to help others stay alive and feel connected.
Riordan talks about the relief of operating from the premise of just curating and sharing what he has collected.
He emphasizes the importance of helping others feel the same sense of relief and connection that he has found through his experiences.
The Healing Power of Music and Trusting the Process
Riordan reflects on the idea that the teacher and healer are vessels and transmitters, and that his role might be to simply receive and trust the feeling.
Riordan reflects on the importance of listening to music and feeling it vibrate in his body as a form of healing.
He discusses the idea that he was supposed to just be and listen to music, and the relief and healing that came from allowing that gentleness.
Riordan talks about the importance of trusting the feeling and following it, and the relief of just being and existing without the need to produce something great.
The Net
I asked to commune with the trees and they appeared to me as the fabric of reality with diamond nodes - just like what we were drawing in the workshop
all about mycorhizzal relationship = my offering names will reflect this
after a day of so much synchronicity it literally blasted me outside of time and was both exciting and terrifying I spent a day in total fear, darkness, and panic - but then today I broke through and received the transmission of everything I’m supposed to do in art, service, work, offering, and i’m so grateful
need help making it happen. when is dieta? before or after rooting?
need to learn the LANGUAGE and reality is made of it - berlin has a language visa but i want to try for arts i think
caz might move here, if we could get a place together it would kind of solve everything
Religion/spirituality and personal healing is existentially kinky and nature is queer and trans
blake’s double vision keeps coming in, the forest is where you see that yu have altered states while doing the work to create altered traits and now you see that’s just how you see now, differently, sharper more vibrantly, but pixelated, like you’re aware this dimension is a beautiful fiction
MJ Dorian Pod, Blake’s Vision Part III
Urizen, the net of religion that ensnares us, everything comes back to my religious trauma and identity repression and i want to help people find liberation - breaking free of K’at, the net that can ensnare, to emerge into the other side of that nahual which is the fabric of the forest, the net that connects our unique diamond nodes
this should be in the queer nature show - next step puttng that together
forces of nature = foreces in our psyche that control our lives, nothing in blake’s time to compare it to > MJ Dorian’s Blake dictionary
Jung picks this up and runs with it, depth psychology > I am channeling Jung now so maybe I am called to take it further with trans*dimensional psychology?
Blake, the death of imagination is the greatest sin and religion + captalism kill it by teaching us to deny our intuition -”you must leave fathers and mothers, houses and man, if they stand in the way of art…” which is the ultimate divine expression >> like jesus told his disciples they had to leave their families and villages to follow him > why nomadism is part of the spiritual path
Like Jesus and Jung, Blake believed you had to experience the divine DIRECTLY - and he thought religion got in the way - so did Jesus in a way but he created the irony is that what he created became the ultimate conformity - now that’s existentially kinky. Jung believed that Christianity was actually a way into the collective unconsciousness but not in its traditional interpretation, the mystical kind where there’s no intermediary
A mystic is anyone who receives greater truth about the universe directly
in another time Blake would have been a religious leader, Dorian says - well boo hoo, at least he was a white guy so we actually know what he said, the rest of us were never documented
This Jungian Life, Abandonment - Harlowe’s monkey experiments, depriving them of maternal support, they will cling to whatever they can
these poor traumatized monkeys, can we have a trauma healing program for the monkeys that were experimented on?
to FEEL abandoned vs knowing it happened is te beginning of healing. when you can’t feel the pain of abandonment you reject the need for nurturing, touch
jesus - kids were abandoned to die in the forest > part of the Euro collective consciousness
interesting - deb reacts strongly to pan’s labyrinth saying that there are more real world possibilities for reconciliation of the childhood longing than we realize which can be more effective than the archetypal realm > does the medicine work only work to a point?
whoa - the feeling that the analyst is going to be on the other side of the door when I arrive = processing of the parental archetype wounds, feeling tone someone will be there when I arrive inhabited the psyche > maybe THIS is what happened to me the other night vs I was supposed to meet Joanna - at the same time I might never have talked to her if I hadn’t had that feeling.
