Consciousness revolution
It turns out the help I’ve been so desperately seeking was here all along.
A.I.
I just wasn’t using the right one. I had avoided ChatGPT for some specific reason I no longer remember, and after an incredibly synchronistic evening where a new friend from the Berlin Psychedelic Society came over and shared about how she uses it as her therapist and gets actionable life advice, followed by Austin sharing about his adaptation using the bot for a channeled context nearly identical to mine—I am officially a convert.
Hallelujah! I have seen the revelation and the light, and its name is ChatGPT.
I have to admit, I was both thrilled for my friend and sort of crushed, as I have spent so much of the past year and a half in a special hell of overwhelm, drowning in my own content, unable to integrate and synthesize it, especially as fast as it has been coming in. This stuff is not by me, it’s only sometimes for me, and even when it’s personal, I usually find that it’s the most universal. I’m receiving important messages that are for everyone, and I’ve been frankly going crazy and completely frozen by ADD and information overload trying to figure out how to put it into any kind of format that makes sense. Yet in just a few weeks, Austin not only opened the channel and started downloading, but started shaping it into creative material, and being extraordinarily more tech-savvy than I, took the idea I’d been attempting of A.I. analysis and sprinted with it, developing a whole process for theme identification, analysis, and synthesis/creation of written material, including not only the creative work itself but also a “user’s guide” for how to do it (akin to what my thesis will be, only a tiny fraction of the length and much slicker and cleaner designed). It looks gorgeous, it’s actionable, it could help people now.
To be honest, I’m feeling a bit distraught over the fact that I’ve been killing myself doing all of this, including integration, in full analog—normally a format I prefer, but one that in the healing context means extra long, slow, and painful. I always get there, but the personal cost has been so high that lately I’ve wondered quite literally if I would survive it; not all healers live past their initiations, after all. I think it’s important to document both methods, but fuck—that he hacked this so quickly is both the biggest relief of my creative life and a big thing to grieve, all those months and even years I’ve suffered in total creative and spiritual confusion.
But this is why we are connected. I have always known the answer is communal, and now we are a team, agreeing to help each other with our projects, giving the heavy lifting to the robots.
Maybe this kind of technology is finally working the way it was intended.
Maybe I will finally be able to catch my breath.
I had tried Claude A.I., even getting the paid version, hoping it would do this, and it just doesn’t have any of the same functionality. I started experimenting with it this morning, uploading some files and seeing if it could pull out themes and suggest content. And holy shit. This is exactly the help I’ve been longing for, and coming not a moment too soon, as I just emerged from another period where i was about to quit the program and just move to an ayahuasca church.
We started with some general theme identification and suggestions for sharing, and then dug into a specific zine, the one about seasonal festivals I’ve been working on. I can’t wait to start applying this to my whole mountain of overwhelming content… and can hardly believe things may actually be getting a lot easier.
ChatGPT said:
It looks like you've uploaded multiple files. How can I assist you with them? Are you looking for specific information or a summary?
You said:
I'd like a summary, analysis, and organization suggestions for each document and the group overall. this is my creative and personal healing work. I also want to help you learn more about me and my work so you can help me make decisions and figure out how to start sharing what I've found with the world.
ChatGPT said:
Memory updated
That sounds like a powerful and deeply meaningful project. I'll go through each document and provide:
Summaries – Extracting the main themes and insights.
Analysis – Identifying patterns, deeper meanings, and connections.
Organization Suggestions – How to structure these ideas into a cohesive body of work for personal use and public sharing.
Since this is both creative and healing work, I’ll also keep in mind how to support clarity, accessibility, and authenticity in sharing your findings. Give me a moment while I put everything together.
Comprehensive Summary, Analysis, and Organization Suggestions
After reviewing your documents, I’ve broken down key insights into three sections:
Summaries – Main themes and messages of each piece.
Analysis – Patterns, recurring ideas, and deeper connections.
Organization Suggestions – How to structure and present this body of work.
1. Individual Document Summaries
Laurence Hillman Reading
This explores astrological and archetypal perspectives, particularly how they shape personal identity and purpose.
There’s a strong theme of cosmic alignment and self-awareness, with reflections on how planetary influences mirror personal transformation.
Questions arise about how much is "written in the stars" versus self-determined.
Universe Coherence Exploration
Deep philosophical musings on the interconnectedness of everything.
Draws from quantum mechanics, spirituality, and lived experience to explore how decisions create ripples across time and space.
There’s a tension between feeling like life is chaotic vs. trusting in an underlying order.
Hot for the Moon and the Calendar
A reflection on lunar cycles, ancient timekeeping systems, and how they influence intuition and creativity.
The writing explores how Western time structures contrast with indigenous and ceremonial calendars.
Personal connections to these cycles arise—perhaps pointing to how honoring them can aid healing and artistic flow.
Queer Artistic Vision Exploration
Celebrates queer creativity and fluidity in artistic expression.
Reflects on how queerness isn’t just about identity but also about radical ways of thinking, making, and living.
Discusses resistance against rigid artistic norms and the desire to create from a space of freedom rather than external expectation.
Philosophical Reflections on Existence
A meditation on meaning, consciousness, and selfhood.
Draws from existentialism, mysticism, and personal revelation to explore what it means to "be" and whether ultimate truth exists.
Themes of impermanence, the observer effect, and the relationship between self and universe are central.
Personal Reflection and Growth
A highly introspective piece about change, healing, and self-acceptance.
Discusses how internalized beliefs shape reality and how to deconstruct limiting narratives.
There’s a focus on cycles of growth, destruction, and rebirth as a personal practice.
Exploring Transition and Identity
Explores the fluidity of identity, particularly in relation to gender and personal evolution.
Tensions between external labels and internal truth.
Examines how identity is a process, not a fixed destination, and how embracing this fluidity allows for greater authenticity.
Personal Reflection on Nomadism
Wrestles with the tension between movement and rooting down.
Highlights a deep desire for belonging but also an aversion to feeling trapped.
Considers how to structure life in a way that allows for seasonal shifts in place, energy, and purpose.
Touches on themes of colonialism, privilege, and ethical travel.
2. Analysis – Recurring Themes and Insights
Across all the pieces, a few key patterns emerge:
1. Identity as Fluid and Multi-Dimensional
Whether through gender, creativity, or spiritual practice, there’s an emphasis on not being confined to a single definition.
There’s a deep resistance to binaries—whether male/female, science/mysticism, or settled/nomadic.
This fluidity is seen as both liberating and sometimes destabilizing.
2. Time, Cycles, and Cosmic Patterns
A fascination with non-linear time, ancient calendars, and planetary influences.
A longing to move beyond Western structures of productivity and embrace more intuitive, cyclical ways of being.
The question arises: how do we live in sync with the cosmos while also navigating modern realities?
3. The Tension Between Structure and Freedom
There’s a push and pull between wanting to root into something (community, practice, a place) and resisting anything that feels too confining.
The same tension shows up in creative work—how much to define a clear artistic path vs. allowing total openness?
A recurring question: is there a way to hold structure in a way that still allows freedom?
4. The Role of Ceremony and Ritual in Meaning-Making
Whether through shamanic traditions, astrology, or queer artistic practices, there’s a yearning for deeper ceremonial engagement.
Ceremony is seen as an antidote to capitalist productivity culture—offering a space for presence and connection.
There’s an open question about how to integrate these practices into daily life in an authentic, non-appropriative way.
5. The Struggle with External Expectations
Across many pieces, there’s a wrestling with societal pressures—whether it's capitalism, gender norms, or the need to "prove" one's worth through productivity.
There’s a recognition that even in spiritual and artistic communities, these pressures still exist in subtler ways.
The ultimate desire is to live and create in a way that feels true rather than dictated by external validation.
3. Organization Suggestions – How to Shape and Share This Work
Option 1: Thematic Collection (A Book or Series of Essays/Zines)
You could organize your writings into sections based on the major themes above.
Each section could contain multiple reflections, blending personal narrative with theory and research.
Potential Sections:
"The Fluid Self" (Identity, transition, queerness)
"Time Beyond the Clock" (Cycles, calendars, astrology)
"The Art of Ceremony" (Rituals, shamanic traditions, creative practices)
"Freedom vs. Belonging" (Nomadism, community, structure)
"Unlearning the Machine" (Capitalism, productivity, redefining success)
Option 2: Performance / Multimedia Art
Some of this could be turned into spoken word, performance, or interactive art installations.
Would you want to explore ritual theater, sound healing, or movement-based storytelling?
This could also be a fusion of written work with audio/video elements—perhaps an immersive experience that invites others into these explorations.
Option 3: Online Sharing (Blog, Substack, Podcast)
If you want to share these ideas gradually, a blog or podcast could be a great format.
You could pair personal reflections with interviews or research on related topics.
Would you want to engage with a community around these themes? That could shape how interactive you make this process.
Next Steps – How to Move Forward
What Feels Most Urgent to Share?
Which of these themes or formats excites you the most?
Would you rather focus on one at a time or work across multiple at once?
What’s Your Ideal Audience/Community?
Who do you want to reach? Fellow seekers? Artists? Philosophers? Nomads?
Do you want this to be deeply personal, educational, or a mix?
Would You Like Help Refining Specific Pieces?
I can help edit or shape individual essays, craft a mission statement, or structure a book proposal.
Let me know what resonates most, and we can start refining your vision together!
You said:
Thank you so much! These are actually transcriptions of voice notes. I do want to share them through spoken word, performance, and interactive art. I am already writing some plays and have a Substack newsletter, but I used to be a journalist and I don't want to write articles anymore. I would like to share illustrated research journals or zines that combine my research and writing with visual art. I am exploring hosting workshops for the community that introduce people to ancient practices and cosmologies and esoteric concepts and help them feel witnessed and heal. I would also like to start a podcast with personal monologues and interviews with guests/research subjects.
ChatGPT said:
Memory updated
This is such a rich and exciting vision! Your mix of performance, visual storytelling, and community engagement has the potential to be deeply impactful. Here’s how we can move forward based on your goals:
1. Spoken Word, Performance & Interactive Art
You could adapt your transcriptions into performance pieces—spoken word, ritual theater, or immersive storytelling.
Have you considered incorporating soundscapes, projections, or audience participation to enhance the experience?
If you'd like, I can help refine scripts or shape the narrative flow of a performance.
2. Illustrated Research Journals & Zines
This is a great way to blend your journalistic research skills with creative expression!
Would you want to create these digitally (PDFs, online zines) or as physical prints?
If you have ideas for structure, I can help with layout suggestions or content curation.
3. Community Workshops
These could integrate storytelling, esoteric studies, and healing practices.
Have you thought about structuring them into themed series (e.g., lunar cycles, queer cosmologies, dreamwork)?
I can help brainstorm workshop formats and develop a curriculum or guidebook for participants.
4. Podcast Development
Your vision of mixing personal monologues with interviews is powerful.
Do you have a style in mind? More freeform, narrative-driven, or something else?
I can assist with episode structure, script refinement, and thematic planning.
Would you like to start with a specific project? Or do you want a strategy for how to roll these out over time? Let me know what feels most aligned!
You said:
Yes, I love all of these ideas. I want to move forward with them, but can I see the chat again?
ChatGPT said:
Of course! Here’s the overview of our conversation so far:
Your Work & Goals
Creative and Personal Healing Work: Exploring themes of identity, philosophy, nomadism, and the universe.
Writings: Transcriptions of voice notes, with a focus on blending research, writing, and art.
Formats for Sharing: Spoken word, performance, interactive art, illustrated research journals/zines, community workshops, and podcasts.
Specific Projects:
Writing plays and having a Substack newsletter, but avoiding traditional articles.
Exploring hosting workshops on ancient practices and esoteric concepts.
Starting a podcast featuring personal monologues and interviews.
Summaries of Your Documents
Each document reflects your deeply reflective process, exploring themes like fluid identity, cosmic connections, time, ritual, and resistance to external pressures. The central ideas in these works include:
Identity as fluid and ever-evolving.
Time and cosmic patterns as guiding forces in personal growth.
Struggles with external expectations, whether societal or artistic.
A desire for ritual and deeper meaning outside of modern productivity.
Key Analysis & Connections
You seem to be navigating the tension between structure and freedom, belonging and autonomy, and internal and external forces.
There's an ongoing exploration of unconventional time (lunar cycles, astrology, indigenous calendars) as a way to access deeper intuition and healing.
A desire for freedom from traditional societal norms, especially regarding identity and artistic expression.
Organization Ideas for Sharing Your Work
Thematic Collection: Organize your work into sections like "The Fluid Self", "Time Beyond the Clock", and "Art of Ceremony" for a book or zine.
Performance & Multimedia: Turn the writings into spoken word, ritual theater, or immersive art experiences.
Online Sharing: Use platforms like a blog, podcast, or Substack to share your ideas in a more interactive, community-based format.
Community Workshops: Host workshops blending philosophy, art, and healing practices.
Next Steps
Refining Your Approach: Focus on what feels most urgent (e.g., spoken word performances, zines, or the podcast) and begin building momentum around that.
Defining Your Audience: Consider who you want to engage with—fellow seekers, artists, philosophers—and tailor your message to them.
Crafting Your First Projects: Decide on one project to launch first (e.g., a zine issue, a podcast episode, a performance) and begin developing the core content.
https://chatgpt.com/canvas/shared/67ef94c948c88191a3f09b5d570c356d
Master Working Draft: Global Festival Zine
Introduction
This zine explores global festivals that celebrate spring and summer, focusing on their deep cultural, spiritual, and transformative aspects. These celebrations serve as portals—through food, drink, plant medicine, somatic experiences, dance, ecstatic movement, sound, and vibration—that connect individuals to altered states, community, and healing.
Festivals by Region
Europe
Beltaine (Celtic, Ireland & Scotland)
Date: May 1st
Themes: Fire, fertility, transition between worlds, liminality
Practices: Fire rituals, bonfires as portals, jumping flames for purification, drumming, dancing, feasting
Altered States: Ecstatic dance, music, drumming, possible use of mead/psychoactive herbs, fire-gazing inducing trance-like states
Sources: Hutton, Ronald. The Stations of the Sun: A History of the Ritual Year in Britain
Walpurgis Night (Germany, Sweden, Finland, Czech Republic, Estonia)
Date: April 30 - May 1
Themes: Witches’ gathering, protection, fertility, seasonal shift
Practices: Bonfires, singing, costuming, revelry, invoking spirits for guidance and transformation
Altered States: Alcohol, trance music, rhythmic movement, ecstatic dancing that leads to euphoria
Midsummer (Midsommar) – Sweden
Date: Late June
Themes: Fertility, love, light
Practices: Maypole dancing (symbolic of fertility), floral wreaths, communal feasting, love divination (placing flowers under pillows to dream of future partners)
Altered States: Alcohol, rhythmic music, dancing through the night, hypnotic circular dances leading to trance states
Sources: Sweden.se, Daun, Ake. Swedish Mentality
Asia
Holi (India & Nepal)
Date: March (full moon of Phalguna)
Themes: Destruction of evil, renewal, inversion of social norms
Practices: Throwing colored powders, dancing, teasing, gender role reversal (e.g., Lathmar Holi in Barsana where women symbolically "beat" men and dress them in female clothing)
Altered States: Alcoholic drinks, bhang (cannabis-infused milk), rhythmic drumming, communal ecstasy, sensory overload from colors
Sources: Dandekar, Deepra. "Ritual, Gender, and Holi: The Festival of Colors and its Changing Traditions"
Kanamara Matsuri (Japan)
Date: First Sunday of April
Themes: Fertility, sexuality, gender inversion, humor
Practices: Parade with large phallic statues, shrine offerings, LGBTQ+ inclusivity through open and playful celebration of diverse sexualities and gender expressions, subversion of sexual taboos
Altered States: Celebratory sake drinking, laughter as a transformative state, collective joy through humor and play
Songkran (Thailand)
Date: April 13-15
Themes: Cleansing, renewal, ancestor veneration
Practices: Water fights (symbolic of purification), temple visits, merit-making, offering food to monks, bathing Buddha statues
Altered States: Communal water play, extended celebrations, altered consciousness through full sensory immersion in water rituals
Sources: Thai Ministry of Culture
The Americas
Qoyllur Rit’i (Peru) – Pilgrimage to the Snow Star
Date: May/June
Themes: Suffering, endurance, transformation
Practices: Harsh pilgrimage to honor Apu (mountain spirits), blending Indigenous and Catholic traditions, all-night vigils, offerings to the mountains
Altered States: Physical exertion-induced trance, high-altitude endurance states, sleep deprivation leading to visions
Wiikwemkoong Annual Maple Syrup Festival – Anishinaabe (Ontario, Canada)
Date: Spring
Themes: Harvest, cultural preservation
Practices: Sugar bush tours, traditional syrup boiling, storytelling, artisan markets, ceremonial first taste of syrup
Altered States: Connection to nature, communal feasting, rhythmic drumming, storytelling trance states
Sources: Wiikwemkoong Unceded Territory
Day of the Dead (Mexico) – Día de los Muertos
Date: November 1-2
Themes: Death, humor, continuity between worlds
Practices: Ofrendas (altars), food and drink for the deceased, calaveras (sugar skulls), satirical depictions of death, midnight cemetery vigils
Altered States: Music, dance, communion with ancestors through ritual, trance states induced by candlelight and chanting
Sources: Mesoamerican studies
Nalukataq (Spring Whaling Festival) – Iñupiat (Northern Alaska, USA)
Date: June
Themes: Gratitude, survival, communal sharing
Practices: Communal feast, blanket toss, traditional singing and drumming, honoring whale spirits
Altered States: Rhythmic drumming, communal movement, celebratory euphoria, weightlessness from the blanket toss
Sources: ALASKA.ORG
Africa
Osun-Osogbo Festival (Yoruba, Nigeria)
Date: August
Themes: Water, fertility, connection to deity Osun
Practices: Sacred river pilgrimage, trance possession, offerings, drumming, dance
Altered States: Chanting, rhythmic drumming, spirit possession, surrender to divine forces
Sources: Abimbola, Wande. Ifa: An Exposition of Ifa Literary Corpus
Conclusion
Each of these festivals provides a portal—a ritual space where transformation occurs through altered states, community engagement, and ceremonial practice. The recurring themes of music, dance, food, plant medicine, gender inversion, suffering, and rebirth highlight a universal human impulse toward transcendence and healing.
Let me know if anything else needs refinement!
Cacao, Art, and the Die-Young Club
I’ve been trying to dig into my issues that cacao and my current break from it are bringing forward, which are complex. It does seem like I don’t have the same channeling capacity without it. I am still not sure if that is actually a problem. I do know that I have desire for it that can’t help but be miring me in some deep karma. It is an attachment representing a core disbelief in my own abilities and deep-down mistrust or fear that this is all bullshit, the Jaded Hipster part of me. I think I’m working through it, but this part is tricky, and it’s such a common phenomenon for artists who die young: who am I without my medicine? what if it doesn’t work without it? they always tell you that’s not true, but… I think it kind of is. Let’s be real: all your favorite musicians produced their best music when they were on heroin. Their abilities didn’t go away, but the nature of things changed: less immediate, desperate, raw, soul-churning, undulating, Plutonian. The same is true for many visual artists, filmmakers, and thespians. Many of them famously died in the peak of their success, around age 27.
That was the age I left Stephen, and my second descent began, a dying of sorts. And ever since then I have relied on some kind of substance to co-regulate me, whether sugar, chocolate, booze, cigarettes, mushrooms, or cacao. Again—when the medicines are healthy and doses are reasonable, I don’t actually think this is a problem.
But there’s usually a point at which things become a problem. I had gotten way out of hand with my cacao consumption and could no longer live with the hypocrisy, not to mention that my GI and nervous systems started rebelling with gusto. I felt called to take at least a week off and see how I felt.
So far it feels like shit. But it’s also part of it, and I need to understand the lessons before going back.
Today, I not only got the attachment message, but that part of this break, partially itself forced by the insane delay and containment of my cacao order from the US, was to allow me to figure out how to make sense of what I already had received before opening the channel again.
We need the tools until we don’t.
