This story is about love
Laurence Hillman, son of James, the “acorn guy”—the father of archetypal and alchemical psychology, translator of Jung’s Red Book, gave me the greatest gift that any of us in the healing / arts can give each other, the point for me of doing any of this at all: the reminder of who we are through the things we forgot, but our bones remember. He’s the one who happily engaged me in conversation over the concept just beginning to form that later became the basis of my developing thesis, which he also affirmed in a discussion a few months back: trans as an emergent archetype. In a reading yesterday, given so graciously for free, asking me only to donate somewhere in gesture of reciprocity, he helped me see a whole new picture of my life, informed, of course, by the journey the universe has already been guiding me on the past weeks in (unbeknownst to me) preparation for this moment:
the epiphany, the revelation of what correspondence really means. Planets, people, all these big fucking particles, all of us just reflections of the bejeweled beauty of the Kosmos, vibrating at the frequency of the energy that’s present, using all of our vessels as containers for materialization of spirit, the Word made flesh, soul manifest, all possessed with the divine essence.
entranced by the spell of the universe, our corpus the charm.
following the feeling, the synchronicity, means tuning into this divine frequency, the radio station that’s always playing if we have our antennae raised, like the arms of the Saguaro stark in the twilight, or the soft boughs of pine and cedar dusted with snow.
***the most amazing gift he gave me was the realization that my life story written in the heavens was actually a LOVE STORY all along… about finding the lover within after searching for it in Jesus and mom and relationships and substances and identities.
that this program is exactly where I’m meant to be
and that I am the case study, my VERY CHART the metaphor for the TRANS-ition humanity is facing from Pisces to Aquarius > finding the love I once touched through Jesus in the forest, plants, medicines, and animals, forming a jeweled network.
because CORRESPONDENCE—not because I’m chosen or Christed any more than we are all Christ consciousness
*I push the boundaries of sleep and fuck with time because when I’m in that hypnogogic state I see the boundaries of this reality shiver and quake and start to dissipate, and I now hear voices on the Astral Radio, the dial cycling through frequencies, hearing snippets of conversation from different voices, every once in a while one is mine but mostly they belong to other people. I see their faces again like when I was a kid, the veil is thin again, they’re communicating, and it’s fucking cool. I slip between worlds and see that the borders are permeable, the model is so flimsy, it dissolves so rapidly, if you just squint the right way. The more you relax the easier it flows in. The vibrations take my nervous system back to a time I felt safe, listening to shoegaze and watching animal videos with the sound muted, he helped reintroduce me to the wild and re-embody my body, of course it has been hard to let him go, but he was just a magic feather like the rest of them, I am the lover who redeems myself, finally the hero of my own
This story is about love / post-Laurence Hillman reading
Riordan Regan reflects on a reading under the full moon, emphasizing the importance of ecstatic dance and self-healing through love and plants. He discusses his personal journey of finding love within, transitioning from religious to personal relationships, and how his story serves as a case study for the shift from Pisces to Aquarius. Regan explores themes of narcissism, codependency, and individuation, highlighting the significance of love, gender expression, and plant medicine. He contemplates becoming an astrologer and creating a zine on plants and death, aiming to help others understand and heal their relationships through self-love and trust.
Action Items:
Explore the relationship with love and help others understand the changing nature of love and relationships. (Assignee: Riordan Regan)
Consider the "lavender book" idea about love and redefining relationships. (Assignee: Riordan Regan)
Create content that helps people heal themselves, trust themselves, and fall in love with themselves. (Assignee: Riordan Regan)
Outline
Ecstatic Dance and Self-Healing
Riordan Regan discusses the importance of ecstatic dance in self-healing, emphasizing its role in the play.
The connection between dance, plants, and love is highlighted as a central theme.
Lawrence Hillman's reading under the full moon is mentioned as a significant event.
Riordan Regan shares a therapist's insight about finding the lover within, relating it to individuation.
Case Study for the Age
Riordan Regan reveals that Lawrence Hillman described his story as a case study for the transition from Pisces to Aquarius.
The exploration of gender expression and sexuality is seen as emblematic of the species' evolution.
Riordan Regan reflects on his role as a case study for various themes, including narcissism and codependency.
The idea of accepting all aspects of oneself is discussed, expanding beyond the archetypes and boundaries of masculine and feminine.
Love and Relationships
Riordan Regan talks about the importance of understanding one's relationship with love.
He mentions his early writing on the blog and newsletter, which focused on love and relationships.
The concept of rehabilitating the feeling function and the importance of loving someone is explored.
Riordan Regan shares his journey of rediscovering love for plants and how it relates to his spiritual journey.
Transcending Religious Love
Riordan Regan discusses the transition from religious love to other forms of love, including substances.
He reflects on the role of plant medicine in his life and its significance in his spiritual journey.
The themes of narcissism, codependency, and individuation are explored in the context of his life.
Riordan Regan talks about the importance of looking at these themes in the collective astrology.
Following Passions and Astrology
Riordan Regan is encouraged to follow his passions, including ecstatic dance, plant medicine, and astrology.
He considers the possibility of becoming an astrologer or a spiritual concierge.
The idea of the lavender book and making decisions is revisited, with a focus on understanding love in a different way.
Riordan Regan reflects on his writing process and the importance of trusting his intuition.
Redefining Love and Relationships
Riordan Regan emphasizes the need to redefine love and relationships, starting with self-love.
He discusses the importance of healing oneself and trusting oneself.
The concept of marrying oneself and carrying each other is introduced.
Riordan Regan talks about the role of dance in shaking off negative emotions and connecting with love.
Conscious Dissociation and Novelty
Riordan Regan mentions Terence McKenna's idea that novelty drives expansion.
The role of trans as an immersion archetype and Amanita as the original elixir is discussed.
The idea of conscious dissociation as a key to moving into the new age is explored.
Riordan Regan reflects on the importance of self-compassion and compassionate inquiry in the era of novelty.
Transcript (Listen):
Okay, so thoughts from the Lawrence Hillman reading under the almost full moon just a few days, ecstatic dance is really important. There is a reason that I'm leaning into this. I think. Yeah, so, self healing is a focus. We know this, but emphasize this. But ecstatic dance is a huge component of it, dance and plants, dance and plants, man and it all centers on love. And what is more love oriented than dance and plants. So this is really interesting. He said the big theme of my life is relationships and defining what relationships mean and defining what love means, which makes perfect sense. And I told him about the therapist who said the lover will redeem me. And he said that was pretty accurate, except it wasn't about an external lover. It was about finding the lover within. And of course, right? I mean, it's like, that's the whole thing, and that's individuation, but, yeah, I'm seeing something emerge now, and I talked to him about how I grew up religious, and it was like, Jesus was that lover. But then as I'm sitting with it, it's like, Well, Mom was that lover. And again, this is the archetypal story. You know, there's nothing new under the sun, but not by me, right? So the coolest fucking part of all of this was that he said that my story was a freaking case study, like my chart was a case study for the age that we're moving through from Pisces to Aquarius, and that my exploration of gender expression and sexuality was emblematic of where we're going as a species. And so like, trans is an emergent archetype. It's like, Yeah, I'm the case study for the pelvis healing. I'm the case study for the emergent archetype. It's all fucking auto theory. I'm the case study for all these things. And that sounds really fucking narcissistic, but like narcissism and CO dependency is a big part of my story, too. And like, if I'm the case study for everything, then it's like, yeah. I mean, the point is, accept, all, reject, none. The point are is we are all the archetypes, man and Kaz was so fucking right. How could I not be walking along the south bank right now? It's fucking beautiful. This is so gorgeous. This is the scene that always makes me fall in love with London all over again. There's that love scene. This is, I can't even tell you how many times I've been right here on the south bank somewhere, when I've just been like, overcome swooning under the light of a almost full moon or full noon, the city all lit up, and this time still with remnants of Christmas. I just love it. I can't help it. Yeah, I could live in Berlin, yeah, I could live in a few places. And I mean, okay, so if part of me as a case study is, I don't know if I said this part, but he said that what I needed, or what would be supportive to lean into was understanding my relationship with love, and through my life, helping other people understand their relationship with love, the nature of love I how our relationships and concepts of love are changing.
So obviously, a big part of that's quality, and I mean, as with most things, I think I figured out a lot of this stuff from the beginning when I very first started writing the blog in the newsletter, probably for the planet. So if I could just find a few places. Is and switch off between them. Think that would be my ideal. I don't drive, I don't like to drive. I don't want to live in a camper van. But I like the idea of the compromise rootedness. I like the idea of having something centered. So, yeah, it's all about love. My relationship with love, that's just so not what I would have thought. I'd been leaning more and more into the intellectual side. And maybe this is what rehabilitation of the feeling function means rehabilitation of loving somebody the greatest thing you'll ever learn, right? I've just gotten so far away from that because of fear. And, I mean, I'm circling around it. I just wrote it in my journal the other day like the Ram Dass sit around the Firetop keeps popping back up and as I yeah, I mean, the biggest breakthrough has been rediscovering this love for the plants, and that's what I said. And when I started talking about this, he was like, that's it. I said, feeling the love for the plants and their love for Me, feeling that it's an actual relationship with sentient beings that doesn't care about me, like this is what I've been longing for ever since I thought I had a relationship with Jesus like that, And he was like, that's why you're a representation of the switch from Pisces to Aquarius. Like it can get more blatant than that. It's about transcending and including transcending and including religious love, transcending and including, you know, worship of the Deity, transcending and including all the things then that I went through my life thinking would replace that. You know, I told him how then it was the lover will redeem me. I mean, first it was mom, then it was Jesus, and it was a relationship. Then, honestly, then it was substances that's interesting. Then it was alcohol, that was kind of always in the background. But, you know, I think is the same. Then it was plant medicine, and it's still kind of that, but, yeah, I mean, I guess substances remain a tricky one, but I know now that they're magic feathers, and I'm learning it, and I'm getting there, yeah, and that, like, that's part of it. It's about consumption, and this is why general and Rouge is a fucking metaphor for everything, like love and consumption, narcissism and CO dependence. Too much. Not enough kids. So I need to look more at how these themes of my life, not mine, I mean mine specifically, but the universal things like narcissism, codependency, individuation, from the mother and add and too much enoughness, I gotta start looking for these themes in, like, the collective astrology, dude, this is so fucking cool. So, like, I'm just being given a big green light to follow all the things that are most exciting to me and the ones that I've most been like, shaming myself for like, well, that's got to be a waste of time again, that like, if it feels good, It can't be work, that can't be worth it. No, it's the opposite. All the things that light me up are the things to lean into. It's fucking ecstatic dance, plant medicine, it's ceremony and religion and astrology. Like, how fucking cool is this? So when. Listening to this podcast and feeling guilty, I actually need to understand that stuff intimately. And I've been thinking maybe I end up becoming someone as an astrologer or something. Who knows, I'd be fucking rap again. It might just be the spiritual concierge thing, but yeah, so, and I do think there's something to this lavender book idea. And I do think there's something to this making decisions and killing your children. And I do think there's something to this shit. Where was I going with that? Oh no. Just lost my train of thought. Oh no, Yep, totally hot. Oh, it's a lavender book idea, yeah, making decisions, because this was what I put on the freaking PhD thing the first time. And this is a pattern with all my writing, is that I know it right from the beginning. I vomited some stuff out in the first draft, and I have it, and then I question it, and then they fucking get stuck in infinite iterations. And it's funny that he used that word in the reading iteration. Told me to remember that everything was an iteration of the PhD program. Like, no shit, dude. But yeah, I the lavender book idea, there actually was something to that direction.
Is confusing the lavender book, because it's about helping us understand what love is in a different way. 52 rules on love. You wrote the book on love. There's all these associations, right? The roomy poems, whatever it's called 52 something on love, isn't I don't know. So I do think there is like a work of auto theory that is about this. You have a plant, you have a tree, you have a cat, you have a person. You until you love the source behind all of it. And it's like, I thought I loved the source behind all of it, but I loved an image that was Jesus, and then I learned what God actually was, and it was everything. Yeah, I mean, I think maybe this is what the zine is that I was starting to ideate about the zine about the plants and death. I Hmm,
yeah, if I think about the story, this is so confusing, I think I'm on the right path. If I think about, oh my God, that's what I started doing, dude, I started writing only relationship stuff in the in the purple frickin notebook that I have. Holy shit, that's wild. I had no idea why I was doing it, and this has to be part of the whole story. And it's like no one's gonna believe it. But as he said, only 10% of people need to believe you, and you'll have the rest of your life's work cut out for you. Like these things are just happening. They're happening all the time. I'm just like, I don't know why I'm doing this. All about learning to trust, and the plants are conduit to trust. Without trust, they could there could be no love. Jealousy will drive you mad, fucking lady, it's about learning to trust. That's all unfolding. It's about learning to trust, but there is something called Love that finds a way you
Yeah, so it's about the gender exploration. If you call yourself a new name, can you become different? Tyler driven shit, looking for clues as to who you are. Looking for clues to the lover the King's Quest, trying to find the princess hidden in the tower walked away from though, yeah, You're on some holy mission. You're on some grand adventure, rescue the princess. It is you. I mean, I talked about this before. It's something, you're the whole cast of characters. And it's about looking for the clues that's about all the different, yeah. So just re examine everything through the lens of love, redefining love, redefining relationships. And has to start with self love, but I gotta start making this stuff that for something I and so I guess for any plays that I'm working on, I mean, there's a reason all the relationship stuff keeps showing up too. I guess the point is to remind people that they can heal themselves, trust themselves, fall in love with themselves. Marry themselves, but we're into the whole compatibility. Marry themselves, carrying themselves, carry each other. I
Yeah, that's really what it is. It's about this idea of worldliness and dance being such a portal to that shaking it off. Yeah, I mean, it's all been this heart shit. It's the pictures I've drawn about the enemy to the cacao combination. But that it kind of he talked even about the conscious dissociation of the key to moving into this new age where, yes, Terence McKenna wrote, again, everything's defined by novelty.
Thank God for Apple technology. Seriously, sometimes I'm like, Why? Because it just was smart enough to know that my headphones were not in as I was talking. So, yeah, Terence is right. He's always right, and we're accelerating that novelty is the driver of expansion, and trans is the immersion archetype, and Amanita is the medicine, because it always has been, because it was in the very beginning, because it is the original elixir Selma, because it awakens the Divine Indwelling. And you realize that the God he thought you were in love with, the being he thought you were in devotion and service to is you all along. I mean, it's fucking so obvious, so all the things I write have to come back to that. And,
yeah, the way for people to be able to engage. Through this era of novelty and everything expanding and information doubling, self compassion, I mean, I had it figured out from the beginning, compassionate inquiry, questioning everything, Uranian energy, dude, okay, open up.
The net that binds is Indra’s / Limits are Freedom / K’at trecena begins
Two new speakers emerged today! Unidentified, in conversation with Riordan. I wonder who they are…
The conversation delves into the concept of Indra's net, a metaphor for the interconnectedness of all things in the universe. Speakers discuss the importance of channeling and correspondence, likening it to the infinite network of jewels reflecting in each other, symbolizing the interconnection of phenomena. They explore themes of creativity, freedom, and the limitations imposed by language and personal biases. The discussion touches on the transformative power of writing, the role of language as a barrier, and the idea that limits can also be seen as freedom. The conversation concludes with a reflection on the inherent awareness of correspondence and the significance of being present in one's experiences.
Action Items:
Explore the concept of Indra's net and its significance. (Assignee: Riordan Regan)
Reflect on the idea that the "net" does not have to be seen as a limitation, but can represent the wonders of interconnectedness. (Assignee: Riordan Regan)
Consider the possibility that a decision, even if it seemed wrong at the time, may have led to positive outcomes. (Assignee: Riordan Regan)
Outline:
Indra's Net and the Concept of Limits
- Speaker 2 discusses the importance of looking at the potential and not letting oneself enjoy the process. - Unknown Speaker emphasizes the need to listen and work with discord, constantly theorizing and transforming. - Speaker 2 mentions writing as alchemy, rehabilitating the feeling function, and talks about love, abundance, and the richness of matter. - Speaker 2 reflects on the idea of writing about community and the limitations of language as private property.
The Role of Language and Writing
- Speaker 2 talks about the limitations of language and how it can restrict creativity and freedom. - Unknown Speaker and Speaker 2 discuss the physical act of writing and the need to convert thoughts into digestible formats. - Speaker 2 expresses a desire to connect with something deeper through writing, mentioning the concept of resurrecting touch. - Unknown Speaker and Speaker 4 discuss the cosmos and the inherent awareness of correspondence.
Channeling and Inherent Awareness
- Riordan Regan explains channeling as an awareness of correspondence and receiving what is already present. - Riordan Regan describes Indra's net as a network of infinite size, representing the interconnection of everything in the universe. - Riordan Regan discusses the multi-faceted jewels at each vertex of Indra's net as the DMT hyperobject. - Riordan Regan reflects on the concept of Indra's net as a representation of the perfect interfusion of all phenomena.
Personal Reflections and Realizations
- Riordan Regan talks about the net not being limited to shame and penance but also representing attachments and things that slow one down. - Riordan Regan shares a personal realization about the importance of decisions and the impact of being present in a specific place. - Riordan Regan reflects on the love for London and the sense of being already home. - The conversation ends with a sense of wonder and appreciation for the interconnectedness of everything in the universe.
This book is everything right now: COSMOS AND PSYCHE, by Richard Tarnas
I started Ralph de la Rosa’s course on “Reparenting Ourselves,” just emerging from such a portal. It’s the follow-on to the course I took when freshly injured a year ago, the one that helped me integrate IFS instead of it running me; showing me how to begin to work with the cast of characters again. How to start directing the Hollow Bone Show in all its incarnations.
https://ralphdelarosa.com/reparenting-1
A search for “bone shamanism” led me to a book by Imelda Almqvist:
THE HOLLOW BONE:
Openness: The idea is to be open with your mind, body, and spirit to allow healing energy to flow through you. The greater the openness, the greater the potential for healing.
Raising consciousness: Shamans use the concept of becoming a hollow bone to raise consciousness and enable healing and spiritual connection.
Removing self: The shaman becomes an empty vessel, removing all thought and self.
Spiritual significance: Bones are sacred signifiers in many cultures, representing regeneration and the stories of what was, is, and will be.
Divination: Animal bones are used in divination rituals. For example, the shoulder blade of a caribou is considered especially truthful.
Shaman's costume: The skeleton in a shaman's costume represents the drama of death and resurrection.
