Holly Regan Holly Regan

Anthropology zines: We used to be trees / Material culture

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bTo80Ono7lBEObGkUAWf7dPbB7f-MTn4cVHvJT5bFxc/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kF8olPA5XamdnRWWyYukIPWsukWnfXWuExA7bePcRns/edit?tab=t.0

Richard’s work intersecting with the cacao + beer zine, Joyce’s research, Maya explorations, Mark’s ponderings, FUCK everything is interrelated and it’s so cool and kinda overwhelming

cool zine possibilities here but I still can’t seem to finish anything, not even a grant application

Joyce + Henderson 2010

What does it mean when objects are locally made in another regional “style”? What researchers call “Olmec” have vast form/style diffs even outside Gulf of Mexico; Honduras, “Olmec” objects made locally: not just imported. You are becoming the thing, the style is in you. “The creation of identity through entanglement with things” – what did it mean to formative period Mesoamerican villagers to make objects that were different from others in the community?


  • In places with long histories of exchanging goods - and the social relations this implies - like Mesoamerica, local practices always reflect cosmopolitan experiences

    • Were Hondurans making “Olmec style” objects trying to “be Olmec” and what could that have meant to them?

  • Formative period = earliest archaeological findings in Honduras

    • Olmec anointed Mesoamerica’s “first great art style” - developed in Gulf of Mexico population centers

    • Evidence reveals: first radiocarbon samples at Playa de los Muertos and Los Naranjos supported time lag in incorporating Olmec motifs > delayed participation in regional trends for Honduras?

    • Stratigraphic excavations show preceding style/complex motifs that harken to designs/techniques usually indicating integration into wider cosmopolitan networks of Mesoamerican communication/exchange. 

  • What is “Olmec” in Honduras?

    • Olmec-style vessel styles/designs at Puerto Escondido and Los Naranjos that resemble those from Copan, in caves of Cuyamel; figurines, pendants, seals/stamps - local contexts, face-to-face practices > produce body ornamentation!

      • Includes crocodile motif on Mexican vessels > cacao and world tree!

      • Naturalistic animals, zoomorphic images from central mexico sites > Honduran more abstract, resemble Pacific Soconusco, highland Oazaca

        • In Honduras they were used to serve food for funerary feasts!

    • Visual culture recognized as “Olmec” = evidence of concepts shared by people participating in similar ritual practices w similar concepts of the structure of the universe

      • Like “Roman, Victorian, Byzantine” … conveys cultural/political commitment to beliefs, practices, material representations

      • METHODOLOGY: I did Gabriela’s meditation before this and asked to connect tot he plants… when I saw the ceramic pendant on page 195 they said was a clamshell, I saw a uterus, and I physically experienced the plate being placed over my womb and something jerking that part of my body up sharply - kind of like the kundalini exercise, “EK-ong-garaaaa…) - receiving information about use from the ARTIFACTS, the ROCK, directly?!

      • Ideologies separating elites and not were incorporated/combined in everyday experience through quotidian material culture

        • Same w beer and cacao

      • Olmec graphic style replacing local indigenous where local animals featured > homogeneity, capitalism like features begin? “Cosmopolitan zoomorphs” coming with new materialities - social as well as geologic stratification including luxury consumption begins to appear at Puerto Escondido

    • Honduran landscape = kin groups cultivating different PLANTS > shapes experience

      • Cacao cultivated before 1100 BC

      • Rivers supply abundant water in region

      • **MYCORHIZZAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN PEOPLE AND TREES SHAPE CULTURE!*** Long-term INVESTMENT IN TREE CULTIVATION SHAPES UNIQUE RELATIONSHIPS TO LAND AND PAST/FUTURE INHABITANTS

        • this is what it means that we used to be trees

        • Maize cultivation at lake/river possible before highlands because of water supply

        • No single cosmology could have made sense of the diverse experiences of the natural and social world that would have arisen from the situated lives of farmers in these different villages. Imagined relations to ancestors, supernatural beings controlling rainfall, and plant spirits, all parts of suggested Formative Mesoamerican cosmologies, would have differed from place to place. In each place, different beliefs about the origins of local populations and their rights to land would likely have developed, particularly if, as has been suggested (Clark and Cheetham 2002), the first farmers ignored the preexisting use of the landscape by mobile Archaic people whose territories they occupied with their new permanent groves, fields, and houses.”

          • Obsidian exchange = requires forming systems of shared value, cooperation

          • “Studies of design resemblances in archaeology traditionally assumed that designs are symbols of group or subgroup identity, displayed to others to clarify social relationships. More recent work has suggested that the recognition of design similarities as information drops off quickly, so that microvariation may be more interpretable within communities than are generalized similarities between com- munities”

        • Social relations form value systems that define what artifacts look like - not the reverse (what a “proper pot should look like”)

          • Puerto Escondido had central place in network linking Honduras and Mesoamerica in late Early Formative period - and society was stratified

            • Exotic raw materials in costumes > used in community and household ceremonies, including burials

            • Primary burials in village, secondary in mountain cave shrines = local way of commemorating the dead and marking social groups > costume ornaments and food sharing vessels at burial reflects life stages, other affiliations of both living and dead

            • Birth, marriage, other life events = ceremonies with less material evidence but where NEW relations, stories could be invented

        • BOTTOM LINE: If they were trying to “be Olmec,” it wasn’t in the same way as Mexican peoples. 

          • Involved participation in wider networks of value, hierarchy

          • Rooted in local cosmologies that tied humans to land, history, local deities

          • THEY USED MATERIAL CULTURE TO REMIX SOCIAL + COSMOLOGICAL MEANINGS FROM PEOPLE IN WIDER NETWORKS - especially in non-burial contexts where living culture was being shaped actively (though, I wonder about this wrt dead - shaping transdimensional relations?)

          • Honduran “Olmec” artifacts locally made, not canonical according to broader styles > show knowledge of entire range of practices developed elsewhere, they are not peripheral/late

            • Like “victorian” there are not clear geographic boundaries on artistic, spiritual, social practices and styles

Pilgrimage to Island of Cozumel - Patel

  • Cozumel's unique position as a pilgrimage centre responsible for the diffusion of intellectual (including astronomical) knowledge throughout eastern Mesoamerica.

    • defined through an analysis of the political importance Mesoamerican Tollans (pilgrimage centres) and oracular shrines.

    • In a religion that gave prominence to the cardinal directions, Cozumel's location as the furthest eastern point of the Maya realm extended the island's religious importance beyond its borders to all the

    • inhabitants living in the Maya region. Surrounded by the eastern Caribbean Sea, the Island of Cozumel embodied Mesoamerican conceptions of sacred geography that privileged locations adjacent to water.

  • Astronomy served to legitimize political power in Epiclassic/Postclassic period (900-1519 AD)

  • In the tradition of Teotihuacán, Tula, Cholula and Chichén Itzá, Cozumel was the Tollan of Postclassic Yucatan: regional religious complexes where intellectual achievements, art, and astronomy celebrated-!!! Omg… this is everything I’m doing right now.. . I’m just trying to get back to the Tollan-!!!!

    • Kings, queens, elites came to consult the planets and constellations; moon, sun, Venus - and studying the stars meant understanding the calendar >> and connecting it to rulers who wanted power. 

      • They who control TIME control REALITY

    • Sites of divinatory info for astrology, exchanging astronomical, calendrical, historical, and religious info-!!!

    • Only 4 books survived Spanish book burning… from Mixtec region, Oaxaca - historical info to do with people, politics, genealogy, and “RITUAL TRAVEL” > completing this consummated the act of assuming leadership

  • THE SHRINES - THE SACRED SITES WHERE THE ALTARS ARE - WHERE THE ANCESTORS LIVE

    • Prenda as the container version of the altar - bodies as prendas, movable offerings

  • In ancient societies they didn’t draw these lines around things - sacred vs secular

  • Pilgrimage is a transformative social and individual process encompassing travel to a culturally significant place, deity, object or person (living or dead); the return journey home; and the portable objects exchanged along the way.

    • Includes religious rituals and rites of circumambulation, organized travel, the trade of highly regarded material objects, sacrifices of time, people and labour, requests and offerings directed to sacred figures or personage

    • Hard to isolate as a phenomenon for this reason

    • Meaning always changing based on individual desire and popular practice

    • People feel empowered because it feels like a way of influencing your fate/the future when all traditional methods exhausted.

      • Including treating incurable disa=ease

    • Sites are places where intracultural and intercultural exchange and interaction occurs

  • 18 Mesoamerican pilgrimage centers at time of conquest

    • Incorporated natural landscape like mountains, volcanoes, caves, water, springs into ceremonial architecture and rituals

    • Many associated with an oracle that was consulted

      • Puerto Escondido on Honduras coast??

      • Delphi, Inca politics > way of sharing dissident opinions without challenging ruler’s authority > 

    • oracle priestx lived in shrines aligned to cardinal directions, associated with celestial or earthly power > sun, moon, earth

      • Authority for different activities like dispute resolution and sanctioning new towns came from pan-Mesoamerican pilgrimage circuit assoc. W Cult of Quetzalcoatl, the Feathered Serpent

      • Accounts for similarity of art/architecture style across the whole above region

  • There WAS a dayworld vs nightworld!!! “Flower World” - Solar realm w flowers, birds, CRYSTALS - flowery road sun uses to cross heavens - flowery mountain in the east where honored dead were BIRDS and butterflies who accompanied sun on its E-W journey across sky

    • Astrology as allegory for life

  • Elite families in Chiapas linked to here

  • Ritual use of water causeways to access isolated coastal shrines > Postclassic Maya religions orientations re: primary of E Caribbean Sea-!!

  • priests and priestesses affiliated with the cult of Quetzalcoatl specialized in astronomical and calendar knowledge and resided at important pilgrimage and economic centres called Tollans

Here’s the expanded, quote-rich version of your thematic breakdown of "Pilgrimage, Politics, and Gender in Postclassic Mesoamerica", structured with direct citations and deeply attuned to your artistic, ritual, and ancestral concerns.

✦ Feathered Serpent Cult & Visionary Geographies

“The term ‘feathered serpent cult’ denotes, for better or worse, a variety of serpent traditions in Mesoamerica... from Preclassic Olmec depictions of an avian serpent... to Postclassic examples of the Toltec culture hero Topiltzin Quetzalcoatl.”

  • The cult is not singular—it's a constellation of shrine centers and symbols linked by trade, pilgrimage, and political ritual.

  • Its visual culture includes serpent balustrades, jade net skirts, flowering mountains, and ritual ballcourts.

  • Chichén Itzá’s “Castillo” is called both kaan witz (Snake Mountain) and k’aan witz (Precious Mountain)—a spiritual axis.

  • Inscriptions speak of “the flowers of the ancestors” and figures are seen conjuring visionary landscapes: one wears a jade net skirt and reclines as serpents rise from the ground.

This is Observatory gold: serpent portals as portals of vision, resurrection, and ancestral return.

✦ Material Culture: Ceramics, Sound, and Ceremony

“Fine Orange and Plumbate pottery comprised part of the trade wares involved in the consumption of ritual cuisines or beverages… jars were designed to resemble birds, turtles, coatimundis, monkeys…”

  • The Nepean Collection (from Isla de Sacrificios) is a trove of effigy jars, incensarios, tripod vessels, and animal-formed musical instruments.

  • Some jars likely held pulque or balché, used in rituals of transformation.

  • Rattles and whistles shaped like birds and serpents signal a musical component to the rites, resonating with your altar-based performances and multisensory practices.

✦ Caches, Altars & Prendas: Ritual Deposits as World-Builders

“Caches or votive offerings are deliberately deposited as a ‘gift directed to an other-worldly power’... one of the ways that the use value of nature to production processes was acknowledged and recompensed in Mesoamerica.”

  • Caches were found in temples, homes, caves, mountaintops, cenotes, and production zones.

  • Items included jade pebbles, celts, ceramics, faunal remains, bones, and human burials—sometimes burials as offerings.

  • Arranged in cruciform and quadripartite patterns, these altar bundles echo your prenda work—dense, symbolic nodes of power and reciprocity.

✦ Cacao, Pulque & Fermented Spirits in Ritual

“Social practices associated with the ritual consumption of beverages, such as cacao or pulque… may have played a factor in the distribution of trade wares at feathered serpent cult sites.”

  • These beverages were used in feasting, funerary rites, and likely interred for afterlife use.

  • Pulque priestesses appear in codices performing post-battle and seasonal rituals—linking female spiritual labor to psychoactive fermentation.

  • Zouche-Nuttall Codex: after battle, maguey/pulque priestesses perform rites of release, transformation, and ancestral communion.

This supports your zine’s thesis: fermentation = transformation, and women/gender-diverse people as its guardians.

✦ Goddess O, Tlazolteotl & Sacred Queerness

“Goddess O is also a weaver, midwife and warrior… her priestesses were diviners who often carried a mirror used in rituals… also depicted wearing the war serpent headdress.”

  • Not a fertility-only archetype—Goddess O (Chak Chel / Tlazolteotl) was associated with visionary rites, warfare, sacrifice, and weaving.

  • Wore quechquemitl robes, wielded serpents, carried mirrors for divination, and appeared on mural temples, codices, and effigies.

  • At Xochicalco, she holds a mirror with the face of God C inside—a ritual of seeing the divine through oneself.

✦ Priestesses, Vision, and the Power of the Dead

“The proximity of the dead was vital to the acts of divination that affected the living… an island used for the interment of the dead may have given priestesses the power of oracular divination.”

  • Isla de Sacrificios = shrine for death, oracles, and feminine cults.

  • Figurines wore quechquemitl, some were musical rattles, echoing ancestral voices.

  • Some pendants and rattles likely worn by priestesses enacting rituals to conjure visions or guide souls.

  • Figures reclining with jade skirts evoke the Earth Goddess or a trance state, the between of life and death.

✦ Myth, Rewriting History & the Erasure of Women

“The Feathered Serpent pilgrimage model erases the important role that women played in constructing and maintaining this cult.”

  • Colonial misreadings (e.g. Cortés = Quetzalcoatl) skewed scholarly vision toward male priest-kings, ignoring priestesses, diviners, weavers, and healers.

  • The author consistently reframes Quetzalcoatl not as a singular male figure, but as a network of ritual practitioners—many of whom were women.

This is the epistemic rupture your art can ride: visionary lineages of queer priestesses erased by empire, now reawakened.

✦ Artistic Applications & Altar Practice Fuel

  1. Altar Design:

    • Use cruciform, layered deposits as structural references.

    • Include caches in natural vs architectural spaces: cave altars, river-offering bundles, ephemeral altars using biodegradable offerings.

  2. Performance:

    • Integrate rattles, whistles, animal-formed vessels, and flutes that channel spirit allies.

    • Consider costuming with quechquemitl, jade net skirts, serpent/butterfly masks.

  3. Exhibition:

    • Show archival vessels next to your own sculptural “vision containers.”

    • Use sound installations of “flowering mountains” + ancestral breathing/mourning.

Would you like this woven into a working section for your zine or exhibition? Or pulled out as ritual structure notes for future ceremonies?

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Holly Regan Holly Regan

First Quarter Practice-Research Summary

The research reflects its subject: it is not collected in one place or form, but is a living, breathing, sprawling, shape-shifting thing. It is reflected in conversations with myself, my parts, and others, many of which are collected in Otter.ai. It is scattered, moving, and gathering emergent form across this blog; Google Drive documents; my newsletter; and the “visual art” and “projects and writing” tabs above.

I asked the Otter AI to summarize key themes, but need to somehow factor all these sources into an analysis. Yet I am also very aware of Laura’s observation that if the subject is transcendence, the methods must serve the same purpose.

Questions for the AI:

About how my healing journey fits into the big picture:

Your personal journey of spiritual healing and gender identity exploration is deeply intertwined with philosophical and scientific concepts, Riordan. You've been grappling with ideas of duality, transcendence, and the nature of reality itself. Your experiences as a trans person have led you to challenge fixed notions of gender, seeing it instead as fluid and multifaceted. This aligns with your understanding of quantum concepts, where you view reality as a temporary consensus of possibilities rather than a fixed state (Body-Mind Concept Exploration). You've described trans emergence as an archetype that transcends binary thinking, embracing the idea that there are always multiple perspectives beyond just two extremes. Your spiritual journey has involved exploring ancient traditions, particularly Irish paganism, while also incorporating modern scientific understanding. You've talked about the need to balance rationalism and mysticism, seeing them not as opposites but as complementary ways of understanding reality (Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration). This syncretic approach reflects your belief in the importance of bringing together different experiences and observations. The concept of embodiment is central to your journey. You've discussed how the human body itself is a technology for observing and understanding the cosmos, linking this to ideas from thinkers like Terence McKenna. Your exploration of altered states of consciousness, through practices like meditation and plant medicines, has been a way of directly experiencing these concepts rather than just intellectually understanding them (Trans* bodies are the philosopher’s stone - Thesis + HBS 6 Jan). You've also drawn parallels between your personal healing process and larger societal shifts, seeing your individual journey as a microcosm of humanity's collective evolution. This is reflected in your ideas about transitioning from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius, and the need to balance individual identity with collective consciousness (Holy shit I just wrote my thesis - self healing, trans* emergence, and the singularity). Your approach to gender identity, particularly the idea of "trans emergence," seems to embody your philosophical stance on reality itself - that it's not fixed, but constantly in flux, and that true understanding comes from embracing multiplicity rather than rigid categories. This ties into your interest in alchemy and the philosopher's stone, seeing trans bodies as a manifestation of spiritual-material transformation (Trans* bodies are the philosopher’s stone - Thesis + HBS 6 Jan). Throughout your journey, you've emphasized the importance of direct experience and intuition alongside intellectual understanding. You've talked about rehabilitating the "feeling function" and reconnecting with pre-linguistic ways of knowing, which you see as crucial for both personal healing and societal transformation (Personal Healing and Growth Session). In essence, your personal journey is a lived exploration of these philosophical and scientific concepts, where your experiences as a trans person and your spiritual practices serve as a lens through which you're examining and reimagining fundamental ideas about reality, consciousness, and human potential.

To summarize my personal growth journey:

Riordan, your recent recordings show a consistent exploration of several interconnected themes that have been developing over the past few months:

  1. Balancing intellect and emotion: You've been grappling with the challenge of integrating your thinking and feeling functions (Intellect of N'oj, B'atz for the soul). This struggle is evident in your discussions about rehabilitating the feeling function while entering a period focused on thinking (Ancestral healing - rehabilitation of the feeling function as the trecena of thinking begins).

  2. Spiritual growth and ancestral connections: You've been exploring various spiritual practices, including the use of psychedelics like mushrooms and cacao, to connect with your ancestors and deepen your self-understanding (AUDIO-2025-01-29-08-13-28). This journey has involved channeling experiences and visual initiations that you've been eager to share and integrate into your work.

  3. Time perception and consciousness: You've reflected on the nature of time, suggesting that time blindness might be a key to awakening rather than a flaw (New Recording 267). This ties into your broader exploration of expanded consciousness and the new era you believe is unfolding (AUDIO-2025-01-29-08-13-28).

  4. Personal authenticity and community: You've expressed a strong desire to live authentically in community, bringing value to others without needing to prove your worth (Intellect of N'oj, B'atz for the soul). This theme is echoed in your search for a like-minded traveling companion (AUDIO-2025-01-29-08-13-28).

  5. Artistic expression and academic integration: You've made progress in your artistic endeavors, creating an online portfolio and exploring ways to incorporate multidisciplinary content into your PhD program (AUDIO-2025-01-29-08-13-28). This reflects your ongoing effort to bridge your creative and intellectual pursuits.

  6. Nomadic lifestyle and earth responsibilities: You've been navigating the challenges of a nomadic lifestyle since 2019, while trying to balance your earthly responsibilities (AUDIO-2025-01-29-08-13-28). This ties into your broader reflections on cultural norms and personal freedom (To be or not to be).

  7. Substance use and societal norms: You've questioned societal attitudes towards different substances, comparing the normalization of caffeine addiction to the stigma around other psychoactive substances (To be or not to be).

These themes demonstrate your ongoing journey of self-discovery, spiritual exploration, and attempts to integrate various aspects of your life and consciousness. Your recent conversations seem to be a continuation and deepening of these long-standing interests and challenges.


What are the key themes and changes of the past year?

Riordan, your past year has been marked by profound personal growth, spiritual exploration, and a deepening connection with nature and ancestral wisdom. Several key themes and takeaways emerge from your experiences:

  1. Spiritual Awakening and Self-Discovery: You've engaged in various rituals and ceremonies, particularly around the winter solstice and Celtic new year, which have led to significant realizations about your identity and purpose (To mom on xmas, Celtic new year ). These practices have helped you connect with your inner "Christ consciousness" and embrace your role as a spiritual being (The gift is Christmas).

  2. Embracing Duality and Transcendence: You've grappled with the concept of duality, recognizing the need to transcend binary thinking and integrate seemingly opposing elements in your life. This has been particularly evident in your exploration of gender identity and your approach to spirituality (Gregorian + Capricorn transitions, 2 E' navigating duality).

  3. Connection with Nature and Ancestral Wisdom: Your experiences have deepened your relationship with the natural world, including plants, animals, and celestial bodies. You've found guidance and wisdom in these connections, often viewing them as teachers and allies in your spiritual journey (8 Kan HBS II Honor your teachers, To mom on xmas).

  4. Healing and Integration: You've focused on self-healing and integrating past experiences, particularly through your exploration of plant medicines and psychedelics. This has led to a series of personal projects and a commitment to sharing your knowledge with others (Gregorian + Capricorn transitions).

  5. Artistic Expression and Communication: You've recognized the importance of art as a bridge between different realms of consciousness and as a means of expressing complex spiritual concepts. This has inspired you to explore new forms of artistic expression and consider gallery exhibitions (Gregorian + Capricorn transitions).

  6. Community and Boundaries: While acknowledging the importance of community, you've also recognized the need for solitude and better boundaries in your spiritual practice. This balance has been a recurring theme in your reflections (Gregorian + Capricorn transitions, 2 E' navigating duality).

  7. Honoring Teachers and Mentors: You've emphasized the importance of recognizing and honoring both human and non-human teachers in your life, including plants, fungi, and celestial bodies (8 Kan HBS II Honor your teachers).

As for what has changed, it appears you've undergone a significant transformation in your spiritual outlook and personal identity. You've moved away from traditional religious concepts towards a more holistic, nature-based spirituality. You've also shifted your focus from external pursuits (like food and beverage journalism) to more internal, spiritual work. Additionally, you've developed a deeper understanding of your own needs for solitude and community, leading to better boundary-setting and self-care practices. Overall, the past year seems to have been a period of intense personal growth, spiritual awakening, and a realignment of your priorities and practices towards a more authentic expression of your true self.

What are the key themes and changes over the past three months?

  1. Riordan, your conversations over the past three months reveal several key themes and personal developments:

    1. Balancing Intellect and Emotion: You've been grappling with the challenge of integrating your intellectual side with your emotional and intuitive aspects. This struggle has led you to explore ways to "rehabilitate the feeling function" while still valuing your analytical abilities (Intellect of N'oj, B'atz for the soul).

    2. Ancestral Healing and Spiritual Connection: You've delved deep into ancestral healing, exploring how to connect with your roots and heal generational trauma. This journey has involved various spiritual practices, including the use of plant medicines like mushrooms and cacao (Ancestral healing - rehabilitation of the feeling function as the trecena of thinking begins).

    3. Cycles and Natural Rhythms: You've become increasingly aware of natural cycles and rhythms, questioning societal norms that go against these patterns. This has led to reflections on productivity, seasonality, and the Maya calendar (Parts of a whole, New Recording 267).

    4. Personal Growth and Self-Acceptance: There's a recurring theme of seeking authenticity and self-acceptance. You've been working on overcoming imposter syndrome, embracing your true self, and finding value in your unique experiences and perspectives (Cool like Fonzie, IFS, + a good thesis summary).

    5. Exploration of Consciousness: Your experiences with various substances and spiritual practices have led to profound reflections on the nature of consciousness, time, and reality (To be or not to be).

    6. Community and Connection: You've expressed a strong desire to live in community and contribute meaningfully to others' lives without the pressure to prove your worth (Intellect of N'oj, B'atz for the soul).

    7. Artistic Expression and Purpose: You've been questioning the value of your work and exploring how to express yourself authentically through art and other creative outlets (Intellect of N'oj, B'atz for the soul).

    8. Body-Mind Integration: There's been a shift towards wanting to reconnect with your body, exploring movement and dance as forms of integration and healing (New Recording 257).

    Reflections on changes: You seem to be moving towards a more holistic understanding of yourself, integrating various aspects of your being - intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical. There's a noticeable shift from purely intellectual pursuits to a more balanced approach that values intuition and bodily wisdom. You're also becoming more critical of societal norms and expectations, seeking to align your life with natural rhythms and your authentic self. Your journey appears to be leading you towards a deeper connection with your ancestral roots, a greater appreciation for community, and a more nuanced understanding of time and consciousness. These explorations are challenging you to reconsider your purpose, your work, and how you engage with the world around you.


Overview of key concepts:

Trans* Emergence

20.2.25: Riordan, you've developed a complex theory about "trans as an emergent archetype" that weaves together ideas from spirituality, psychology, and quantum physics. Here are the key points you've articulated: You see trans identity as representing a new stage in human consciousness, bridging dualities and transcending traditional binaries (Holy shit I just wrote my thesis - self healing, trans* emergence, and the singularity). This emergent archetype embodies the ability to move fluidly between form and formlessness, the material and the spiritual (The power of dance, spiritual elitism, Terence + me). You've described trans bodies as "philosopher's stones" - alchemical vessels that transform the spiritual into the material and vice versa (Note). This concept ties into your ideas about the body as a container for experiences, sensations, and information, temporarily assuming solid form before dissolving again (Cool like Fonzie, IFS, + a good thesis summary). You've connected this to quantum concepts, suggesting that reality itself is fluid and based on possibility rather than fixed states. Just as gender isn't fixed, you argue that no body or identity is truly fixed - everything is in a state of constant transformation and possibility (Body-Mind Concept Exploration). You see this emergent archetype as key to reaching a new level of consciousness or "singularity," where humanity can embody and perceive multiple states simultaneously (Note). This involves conscious dissociation - the ability to move between different states of being with awareness and intention (Holy Shit That’s the Practice-Thesis). Importantly, you view this not just as an individual journey, but as representative of a broader shift in human consciousness. You see your own experiences and explorations as a "case study" for this larger transition (Your play is about love - post Laurence Hillman reading). This theory intertwines with your spiritual practices, your understanding of ancestral wisdom, and your vision for creating art and rituals that embody these concepts (Act V: The transfiguration of Riordan O’Regan, Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration).

A few weeks prior: Riordan, you've discussed "trans as an emergent archetype" extensively, presenting it as a key concept in your spiritual and philosophical explorations. Here's a summary of your thoughts on this topic:

  1. Transcending Binaries: You describe trans as an archetype that transcends traditional binaries and dualities, allowing for a more fluid and comprehensive understanding of identity and existence (Trans* archetype emerging through Maya astrology).

  2. Synthesis and Integration: Trans as an emergent archetype represents the ability to synthesize and integrate various aspects of knowledge, technology, and spirituality. It's about bringing together ancient wisdom with modern insights (Trans* archetype emerging through Maya astrology, Marking the 13 Kan Journey : 8 E’ Trans Emergence + HBS riffs).

  3. Embodiment and Physical Transformation: You've noted that trans embodies the ability to bring knowledge and insights into the physical realm, transcending all worlds and allowing for a more complete expression of self (Trans* archetype emerging through Maya astrology).

  4. Connection to AI and Technology: You've drawn parallels between trans and AI, suggesting they might be part of the same archetype, representing the ability to analyze and integrate vast amounts of information (Trans* archetype emerging through Maya astrology).

  5. Conscious Dissociation: You've described trans as embodying conscious dissociation, which allows for a deeper presence and understanding of self and reality (Marking the 13 Kan Journey : 8 E’ Trans Emergence + HBS riffs).

  6. Guiding Transition: You see trans as the emergent archetype guiding the transition to a new world order, breaking down boundaries and binaries, and eliminating borders (Rap about the praxis).

  7. Holistic Approach: Trans as an archetype encompasses subject and object, verb and noun, bodies and consciousness, representing a holistic approach to understanding reality (Rap about the praxis).

  8. Healing and Reconciliation: You've emphasized that this archetype starts with individual healing and reconciliation of internal parts, bringing home all that has been exiled within (Rap about the praxis).

  9. Creativity and Self-Expression: The trans archetype encourages everyone to tap into their ability to be healers, artists, and creators, without the need for external validation or monetization (Rap about the praxis).

  10. Evolutionary Step: You've suggested that trans might represent an evolutionary step for humanity, potentially leading to everyone becoming trans in some sense as we evolve beyond current limitations of identity and perception (The modality is Christmas).

Overall, you present trans as an emergent archetype that represents a transformative force in human consciousness, bridging gaps between different realms of experience and knowledge, and offering a path towards a more integrated and holistic understanding of self and reality.

Art as Mediumship/Spirituality

Riordan, you've explored deep connections between spirituality and art throughout your reflections. You see art as a form of shamanism, with artists acting as conduits for archetypal energies and bringing unseen realms into material form (Note). You've described the artistic process as a kind of spell-casting or necromancy, where artists conjure and give form to ideas, memories, and energies. You've drawn parallels between different art movements and spiritual concepts. For instance, you've compared impressionism to an abstraction of reality, while surrealism represents an abstraction of psychology (Note). This ties into your broader exploration of how art can bridge the material and spiritual worlds. Your interest in ancient spiritual practices, particularly Irish paganism and funeral feasting traditions, has informed your artistic vision. You see these practices as ways of communicating with ancestors and accessing other realms of consciousness (Kings Quest Myst and the Observatory). This has inspired ideas for immersive art installations and performances that blend spiritual rituals with contemporary art forms. You've also connected your exploration of spirituality and art to your personal journey of gender identity and transformation. The concept of androgyny in spiritual traditions has resonated with your experiences as a trans person, and you see potential in using art to express and explore these intersections (Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration). Importantly, you've recognized that creating art can be a spiritual practice in itself. You've described moments of synchronicity and revelation during your creative process, suggesting that the act of making art can be a form of meditation or channeling (Personal Growth Journey). Lastly, you've expressed a desire to create spaces and experiences that allow others to access these spiritual-artistic connections. Your ideas for an "observatory" or immersive installations aim to help people reconnect with nature, explore altered states of consciousness, and engage with spiritual concepts through artistic means (Kings Quest Myst and the Observatory).

Funeral Feasting

Your conversations have revealed a deep fascination with funeral feasts, psychedelic beer, and ancient food and beverage practices, Riordan. These topics appear to be central to your research and personal journey. Funeral feasts emerge as a significant ancient tradition where people would gather at graves to share meals and psychoactive drinks with the dead and ancestors (Holly and Sarah Connect_ Ancient Beer and Altered States (2021-03-17 at 10_32 GMT-7), Bettina Arnold). This practice was widespread, appearing in Celtic, Greek, and other cultures. It often involved digging up bones and communing with the deceased, forming a bridge between the living and the dead (Kings Quest Myst and the Observatory). Psychedelic beer features prominently in your discussions. Ancient brewing practices often incorporated psychoactive ingredients, creating beverages that were simultaneously nutritious, intoxicating, and consciousness-altering (Holly and Sarah Connect_ Ancient Beer and Altered States (2021-03-17 at 10_32 GMT-7), Brian Muraresku!!). These drinks played crucial roles in rituals, ceremonies, and everyday life. You've explored how some ancient sites, like Göbekli Tepe, may have been centers for brewing such beverages (Note). Your research has touched on the role of women in ancient brewing, challenging modern assumptions about gender roles in alcohol production (Ryan Williams - ancient chicha). You've also investigated the use of various ingredients in ancient brews, including honey, fruits, and psychoactive plants (Bettina Arnold). The concept of food and drink as sacraments appears frequently in your work. You've explored how certain substances, like cacao, functioned as food, beverage, and medicine simultaneously, embodying a kind of "holy trinity" of nourishment, pleasure, and spiritual significance (Holy shit I just wrote my thesis - self healing, trans* emergence, and the singularity). This idea connects to broader themes of transcendence through sensory experience and the blurring of boundaries between the material and spiritual realms (Kings Quest Myst and the Observatory). Your conversations often link these ancient practices to modern spiritual and personal growth journeys, including your own exploration of identity and consciousness. You've considered how recreating or reinterpreting these ancient traditions might offer insights or healing in contemporary contexts (Spiritual Journey Exploration, Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration).

Language Creates Reality

Riordan, your conversations have consistently explored the profound idea that language shapes and creates reality. This concept appears to be a central theme in your personal philosophy and spiritual journey. You've discussed how reality is fundamentally made of language, drawing inspiration from thinkers like Terence McKenna (Language is reality maybe, Holy shit I just wrote my thesis - self healing, trans* emergence, and the singularity). This idea extends beyond spoken words to include symbols, images, and even non-verbal forms of communication used by plants, animals, and the natural world. You've explored how different languages can create distinct realities. For instance, you noted that European societies struggle with concepts like gender fluidity partly because their languages are inherently gendered (Germany vs Ireland and Synchronicity as the Closing Days Begin). This linguistic structure shapes how people perceive and interact with the world. Your reflections on psychedelic experiences often touch on how these altered states reveal realities beyond conventional language, accessing realms of symbolic and intuitive understanding (Death dreams DMT amanita, Holy shit I just wrote my thesis - self healing, trans* emergence, and the singularity). You've suggested that ancient cultures may have had different "operating systems" based on DMT rather than serotonin, allowing for different perceptions of reality (Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration). You've also contemplated how writing and recording information has changed our relationship with memory and reality. You recalled a vision where you heard "I wrote it down in my diary so I wouldn't have to remember," suggesting that reliance on written language may have atrophied our natural memory abilities (Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration). In your explorations of transness and identity, you've framed the journey as one of creating new realities through language, moving beyond binary concepts to express more fluid and diverse experiences of self (Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration, Being and not being Bob Regan). Recently, you've been grappling with the idea that changing your language can literally change your reality. This has led you to consider learning Irish as a way to connect with your ancestral identity and potentially unlock forgotten memories (Being and not being Bob Regan). Ultimately, your conversations reveal a deep engagement with the power of language to shape perception, identity, and the very fabric of reality itself. You seem to be on a quest to find or create languages that can express more expansive and inclusive realities.

Food and Beverage

Your recordings over the past five years reveal a deep connection between food and beverage, healing, and identity exploration. You've consistently viewed food and beverage as more than just sustenance - it's a lens through which to examine culture, history, and personal transformation. You've described food and beverage as capturing "absolutely every single thing in the ecosystem" - economics, society, land use, and cultural history (GMT20240924-170409_Recording). This holistic view aligns with your interest in healing modalities that address the whole person. Your work in food and beverage journalism provided a sense of authority and stability, but you've been moving away from it as you explore more spiritual and artistic pursuits (Parts of a whole). However, you still see value in food metaphors for illustrating larger concepts. You've drawn parallels between ancient healing practices and modern food experiences. For instance, you've explored the concept of "funeral feasts" - ritualistic meals shared with ancestors - as a way to connect with the unseen and transcend material experience (Kings Quest Myst and the Observatory). This ties into your interest in psychedelic experiences and alternative healing modalities. The idea of "sacred elixirs" that combine food, beverage, and medicine has fascinated you. You've pondered how substances like cacao can nourish the body while also providing spiritual insights (Oath of the order - the cross and the cactus). This reflects your desire to integrate physical and spiritual healing. Your evolving gender identity and exploration of queerness have influenced your perspective on food and beverage spaces. You've advocated for more diverse representation in the industry, seeing it as crucial for creating inclusive environments (GMT20240924-170409_Recording). As you've delved deeper into spiritual practices and identity exploration, you've started to view food and beverage less as a career focus and more as a metaphor for larger transformative processes. You've mentioned the idea of "transcending and including" your food and beverage background as you move into new areas of exploration (Gregorian + Capricorn transitions). Overall, your journey with food and beverage has mirrored your personal growth - moving from a more traditional career path to a holistic view that incorporates spirituality, art, and healing. While no longer your primary focus, food and beverage concepts continue to inform your understanding of identity, community, and transformation.

Possession and Trance

You've explored the concepts of possession and performance extensively in your reflections, Riordan. You've described shamanic practice as involving "voluntary possession and conscious dissociation" (Note). This idea of controlled spiritual possession is contrasted with the unconscious commodification you see in some entertainers who turn themselves into products to be possessed materially (Trans Identity and Empowerment). You've drawn parallels between spirit possession in shamanic practices and your own experience with parts work in therapy, noting how different aspects of yourself can feel like distinct personalities with their own agendas (Note). This internal multiplicity seems to inform your approach to performance. You've also discussed how performance can be a way of channeling different energies or entities, allowing them to come through you while retaining the agency to end the performance when needed (Impressionism abstracts the sensory, surrealism abstracts psychology). This ties into your view of shamanism as the ability to slip between worlds while maintaining boundaries. In your creative work, you're exploring these themes through character development, such as your "Wrenboi" persona for your one-person show (Character Development Exploration: Wrenboi Lives). You're considering how to embody both yourself and a shamanic role in performance, blurring the lines between your authentic self and the characters you portray. Overall, your thoughts on possession and performance seem to revolve around the idea of consciously allowing oneself to be a vessel for different energies or identities, whether in spiritual practice, therapeutic work, or artistic expression, while maintaining a core sense of self and control.

Astrology and Correspondence

You've discussed correspondence and astrology as interconnected concepts that help align personal practices with natural rhythms and cosmic cycles. You view astrology as a tool for understanding oneself and others, emphasizing that it's about correspondence rather than predicting destiny (Parts of a whole). You've explained that the term "alignment" is used because of correspondence, and that living in tune with the ecosystem involves getting in sync with these natural cycles. You've mentioned using archetypal Western Astrology, Maya day keeping, and the Celtic Wheel of the Year as primary systems for tracking and navigating these correspondences (Holy Shit That’s the Practice-Thesis). In your practice, you aim to use astrology to guide people in aligning their actions with the natural world. You've suggested that everything in nature is a habit that can be learned, and that by observing these correspondences, we can better understand ourselves and our place in the larger cosmic order (Parts of a whole). You've also linked the concept of correspondence to communication, explaining that animals and plants communicate through vibrations, feelings, and synchronicities. You believe that listening to these correspondences is essential for aligning with natural rhythms and not going against the natural order inside and around oneself (Holy Shit That’s the Practice-Thesis).

Conscious Dissociation

You've described conscious dissociation as a key concept in your work and personal practice, Riordan. You see it as a powerful tool for healing, self-discovery, and spiritual growth. You've said that conscious dissociation is the ability to voluntarily separate from your usual state of consciousness while retaining agency and awareness (New Recording 257). This contrasts with traumatic dissociation, which happens involuntarily as a coping mechanism. You've linked conscious dissociation to shamanic practices, artistic creation, and personal transformation. You've suggested it allows one to access different states of consciousness, connect with spiritual realms, and bring forth hidden aspects of the psyche (Tarot, Maya calendar, Western astrology as impressions and surrealism). In your view, conscious dissociation is central to the human experience and can be a path to greater presence and connection, rather than detachment. You've said the goal is to "constantly dissociate so that you don't associate your material body this lifetime with the point of the whole thing" (Note). You've also connected conscious dissociation to your work with plant medicines, particularly Amanita muscaria, which you've called "the master of conscious dissociation" (Impressionism abstracts the sensory, surrealism abstracts psychology). You see this practice as part of a larger framework for healing, integrating trauma, and exploring identity, especially for queer and trans individuals. Lastly, you've mentioned incorporating conscious dissociation into your ceremonial work and coaching practice, viewing it as a vital skill for navigating between different states of consciousness and integrating various aspects of the self (Note).

Archetypes and healing

You've explored archetypes extensively in relation to personal healing, viewing them as complex, multifaceted energies that can manifest in various ways. You see archetypes as larger than single symbols or cards, encompassing multiple aspects and expressions (Tarot, Maya calendar, Western astrology as impressions and surrealism). In your journey, you've focused on the "trans emergence" archetype, which you describe as transcending and including all dualities, representing infinite possibilities, and embodying the ability to break down boundaries and binaries (Rap about the praxis). This archetype is central to your understanding of personal healing, as it allows for the integration of seemingly contradictory aspects of self and experience. You've connected archetypes to ancestral healing, suggesting that working with them can help process generational trauma and reconnect with cultural roots (Note). This involves exploring both personal and collective unconscious material, similar to Jung's approach. Your view on archetypes and healing emphasizes:

  1. Conscious dissociation: Using archetypes to safely explore difficult emotions and experiences (Cool like Fonzie, IFS, + a good thesis summary).

  2. Integration: Bringing together disparate parts of self, including "exiled" or shadowed aspects (Rap about the praxis).

  3. Cyclical nature: Recognizing that healing involves revisiting themes at different levels, like a spiral (Rap about the praxis).

  4. Embodiment: Experiencing archetypes physically and emotionally, not just intellectually (Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration).

  5. Syncretism: Combining insights from various traditions and modalities in your healing approach (Working with Kit).

You've also explored specific archetypes like the Pope/Shaman as a mediator between worlds, and the Death card as representing transformation (Tarot, Maya calendar, Western astrology as impressions and surrealism). Your work involves creating ceremonies and practices that allow people to engage with these archetypal energies for healing, emphasizing the importance of both individual and collective rituals (Note). Overall, you view working with archetypes as a powerful tool for personal healing, allowing for a deeper understanding of self, connection to ancestral wisdom, and transformation of trauma into strength.

DMT as neuromodulator

You've discussed DMT as an ancient neuromodulator in several contexts: You've suggested that humans used to have neurotransmitters that worked on DMT instead of serotonin, allowing us to live more in the "night world" and requiring less sleep (Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration). This idea connects to your exploration of ancient consciousness and spiritual practices. You've mentioned that DMT is activated within us and is part of our natural biology (message to Caz on teams emergence and dmt). You've speculated that DMT production might increase during nighttime or in darkness (Note). You've described DMT as a model of unity and oneness, contrasting it with serotonin, which you associate with separation and the consensus world (The eyes of cacao - birth + individuation). You've suggested that in the past, humans could switch more easily between these two models of perception. You've connected DMT to ancient shamanic and spiritual practices, suggesting it might have played a role in how our ancestors perceived and interacted with reality (Rap about the praxis). You've also pondered whether bringing the physical body into the "DMT realm" could be key to unlocking a new level of human consciousness or evolution (Note, Maya New Year: Jodorowsky Tarot Reading and Trans Emergence Exploration). These ideas form part of your broader exploration of consciousness, spirituality, and human evolution, often linking ancient practices with modern understandings of neuroscience and psychology.

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